The Rider Review - Gunfighter
By Johnny Betts
Welcome once again to Johnny Betts' Rider Review! First off, I have a new theme
song (hum it to yourself whenever you read one of the Rider Reviews). It's the theme
song to "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." It goes like this, "Ahee-ahee-ahhhh!
Wah-wah-wah!" Don't hum it too loud, though, people will probably think you're crazy.
Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is everybody seemed to love the
first Rider Review. Most everybody has told me they can't wait for the next review.
This probably leads you to ask, "What's the bad news, Johnny?" Well, there's a chance
I could get struck with "Kid Syndrome." You're wondering what "Kid Syndrome" is?
Remember how I said in the first review Kid hit his peak in the first 15 minutes of
the very first episode? Well, most of you are probably wondering, "Did Johnny Betts
reach his peak in the very first Rider Review?" We've got over 60 episodes to go and
if I reached my peak in the very first Rider Review then we're in a whole heap of
trouble. But keep reading anyway, you'll probably find something to laugh at.
Before we get started I just want to thank everybody who e-mailed me with comments
about the review. I was thinking about having a "Rider Review Mark of the Week," but
there's so many of you out there I don't want to alienate anybody. If you took the
time to e-mail me then watch for your name somewhere in the review, consider it my
small way of saying, "thanks."
In the last review, I asked for some ideas on a better name for "line of the episode"
and "scene of the episode." Ann suggested "Sam-worthy quip" to replace "line of the
episode." Since she marked out big time for my review -- and since she is Australian
(love them Australian accents!) -- I'm gonna use her idea this week. It's only fitting
since Sam was awarded with the very first Rider Review "line of the episode."
Oh, and Rhiannon called me on the fact I didn't say more about the "burning stick"
instantly curing Katy from the gunshot wound. She made a good point about how Katy
was near death's door and then, boom, the burning stick got her up and running again.
Actually, I intentionally didn't say anything about it just to see if anybody would
catch me. It's true, it's true.
OK, I'm sure many of you are thinking, "Would you SHUT UP already and get on with the
review!!!!!!!!" FINE! Settle down folks, it's just a review! No need to get all upset
about it, goodness gracious. Let's get started.
Gunfighter. That's the name of the second episode and we pretty much know this is a
"Jimmy episode." Most episodes center on one or two characters, giving you an easy
way of referring to particular episodes. For example, when trying to turn my wife into
a The Young Riders fan, I'd always make sure to show her the "Jimmy episodes" first
and would save the "Kid episodes" for last. Sorry, Kid fans, I had to give Shannon
some material to help her get started early on her next episode critique.
OK, we see Cody riding into town. He hands a pouch off and then says he could eat a
horse. We see Jay O. Sanders calling out Calvin LeBrock. What is interesting about
this is I've always thought Jay O. Sanders looked like a horse. You think Cody's
comment being followed by Sanders entering the scene is a coincidence? I don't think
so! It's obvious that the writers thought Sanders looked like a horse also, poor guy.
I've got a trivia question this week for you fine readers. Name two other projects
Josh Brolin and Jay O. Sanders have worked on together. E-mail me with your answers.
Whoever gets the correct answer gets a special mention in the next Rider Review. It's
a very special honor, just ask anyone whose name you see mentioned in this review.
Anyway, Cody is watching the showdown between Longley and LeBrock. Cody notices a
reflection in an upstairs window. Keep this scene in mind, this is an excellent
example of foreshadowing.
Longley quickly disposes of Kelly's ancestor (how many of you will get that
reference?). Before I continue, let me introduce you to a new feature of the Rider
Review. Aimee had a good idea for "stupid line of the episode." Speaking of Aimee,
she's a Kid fan, but she still offered me some of the first season ABC episodes, so
she deserves a little credit! Having said all of that, let's get to the episode's
first "stupid line of the episode" candidate. A woman runs over to LeBrock to attend
to him. One of the bystanders says, "Is he hurt? Is he hurt bad?" No, HE WAS ONLY SHOT
TWICE AND IS NOW LYING LIFELESS ON THE GROUND! Call me crazy, BUT I THINK HE'LL PROBABLY
BE JUST FINE! Goodness!
Cody tells his adventures that night at dinner. He tells Jimmy that Longley was good
enough to make a living at gunfighting and says the townsfolk claim Longley has killed
over 100 men. Jimmy doesn't buy it, though.
In a funny scene, Cody and Teaspoon have a discussion about the seven deadly sins.
Cody's eating hungrily (was "horse" on the menu?) and Teaspoon comments on his
swinish habits. Teaspoon points out gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins, but when
asked what the others are he thinks about it, smirks, and says "Never mind." Cody
shrugs it off saying he'll get to them eventually. Now how cool would it have been if
Stephen Baldwin had ended up being the killer in "Seven"? Things would've come full
circle. Wait a minute. Kevin Spacey was the killer in "Seven," and Stephen starred in
"The Usual Suspects" with Spacey. Whoa, IT HAS COME FULL CIRCLE! THIS IS NOT A
COINCIDENCE!
Lou (trying her best to talk in a deep voice) comments on Emma's pocket watch. The
other riders admire it as well. When Jimmy points out it doesn't work, Emma says it
does indeed work, she hears memories. Jimmy gives her a look as if to say, "Woman,
please."
Buck watches Jimmy facing off with a rattlesnake. Buck lets him know it's all over if
the snake takes a bite out of him, but Jimmy clues Buck in on his own plans to possibly
take a bite out of the snake (tastes like chicken I believe). Jimmy shoots the snake
and seems quite proud of his feat. Buck throws his knife (he's an Indian after all)
in Jimmy's direction and kills another snake in waiting. OK Buck fans; prepare to mark
out because I'm going to award Buck with the first "Sam-worthy quip" candidate. And
the line? "Remember, Hickok, there's always one more waiting."
Do you see what's going on here? It's called FORESHADOWING! Seriously, it's little
things like that that make the show so good.
After we see Longley riding into Sweetwater, we find Jimmy looking at a picture of his
mom. Jimmy doesn't understand why Emma was so worked up over a watch that doesn't work.
Kid says it's not the watch, it's what it stands for. Lou then explains what it stands
for is "memories." In a scene that was later cut, Kid and Lou broke out into a duet of
"Memories." MEMORIES, PRESSED BETWEEN THE PAGES OF MY MIND! Rumor has it that the cut
scene was an inspiration for "Cop Rock."
A bad dream of someone mistreating his mom wakes Jimmy up and forces him to hurry off.
We see some no-namer getting ready to ride off, but Jimmy takes his ride. In his haste,
he spooks Longley's horse. Longley gets a mud bath out of it.
In what turns out to be the funniest scene of the episode we see Kid trying on some
cologne. Buck gives him a funny look. Cody thinks an eagle feather in his hat suits him
pretty well. Buck says it's a turkey feather and Jimmy laughs and says, "Suits you just
fine." Poor Cody. Lou tells Kid he smells like a whorehouse and then has to explain she
knows more than he thinks. MORE FORESHADOWING! Kid looks upset and in another scene
that was later cut says, "Yeah? Well I love Aimee. She's so much better than you any
day!" What's up with THAT? Kid walks away with a weird look and Cody says, "Something
wrong?" I can't explain it, but there's something very hilarious about the way Cody
says it. Cody then sniffs and says, "Ooooof, nobody light a match." Absolutely
hilarious scene.
Longley rides in and sees the Palomino that spooked him. He enters the store and
demands to know who owns the horse. Kid tries to explain it belongs to all of them.
Cody points out that that is Longley. Jimmy gets a little smirk on his face showing
you he's ready to throw down. I think we all know this is why Jimmy rules. So Longley
asks who was riding the horse a couple of hours ago on the trail south of town. Jimmy
proudly confesses. Longley demands an apology. Jimmy smiles and says if he spooked his
horse then he didn't mean to. Longley, however, doesn't think that sounds like much of
an apology. In the second "Sam-worthy quip" candidate, Jimmy says, "Sorry, but
apologizin' is something I only do on Sundays. Today's Tuesday." Yes, I mark out every
time. There's something especially cool about the way he said "Sorry."
Longley wants an apology now or he'll exact restitution outside. Jimmy opts for
outside. Kid asks Jimmy if he's crazy and Jimmy simply shakes his head. This whole
scene played out very well. You could just feel the tension among the riders as Jimmy
stood up to Longley. It's our first "scene of the episode" candidate.
We come back from commercials to see Jimmy and Longley square off for a good ol'
fashioned gunfight. This is gonna rule! JIMMY! JIMMY! JIMMY! I simply CANNOT wait for
this showdown! COME ON JIMMY, YOU CAN DO IT, PUT A LITTLE POWER TO IT! DO IT, DO IT!
DO IT, DO IT! Here we go, the moment of truth...sigh, Kid runs over and hits Jimmy
to stop the showdown.
Listen up, all my fine fans. Believe Johnny Betts when he tells you how very
embarrassing it is to have something like that happen to you. Let me share a little
true story from my life to illustrate the point:
Back in the moist-eyed days of my early youth, Johnny Betts was known to get into a
scrap or two. One day, I was minding my own business when an older kid came up to me
and for no apparent reason threw sand in my eyes. I got up and pushed him in
retaliation. He told me I was in trouble now and challenged me to a fight. The kid was
bigger and older than I was, but I couldn't back down. You see, the early days of our
life are consumed with efforts to fit in and to just find our place in life. We feel
the future of the nation rests on every decision we make. A wrong move today means
some little Johnny Betts fan won't sleep well tomorrow. It's a heavy burden, one
that'll make you wise beyond your years. I knew I might take a pounding, but at least
I would show that I stood for something.
My mom was nearby and saw the entire situation. "Are you crazy?" she asked, "He's
twice your size!" I could see that, but I couldn't flinch. I had to stand my ground.
If I gave an inch today, then who would stop the world from taking a foot tomorrow?
So I squared off with the guy. I was ready to go. We stared each other down. Although
only a few seconds passed, it seemed like an eternity. My whole life passed before my
eyes. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion, and my adrenaline couldn't be
rushing any faster. That's when everything went kind of blurry. I felt a punch to my
jaw that absolutely floored me. IT WAS MY MOTHER! I was in too much pain to be
shocked. I simply closed my eyes and passed out. Has this ever happened to anybody
else?
Anywho, Sam gives Longley 48 hours to get out of town. Longley claims he's not looking
for trouble, but he sees it in Jimmy's eyes.
Back at the station, Buck cuts Jimmy loose. He runs over and tackles Kid and they
began to scuffle. Rest in peace ye olde Rider's oath! Coincidentally, the first thing
I did after regaining consciousness was tackle my mother. I had to salvage my pride
you know! I really don't regret the tackle, but maybe I should've held back on the
elbow drop to the head.
Teaspoon throws water on them and Emma runs out wanting to know what's going on. I
like Emma, but she makes me mad when she tells Jimmy maybe he doesn't have any sense.
She says first he picks a fight with a hired gun, and then he dragged his friends into
it. HE DID NOT! Kid's the one who decided to throw his own goody-goody self into it
(more material for you Shannon!). Jimmy was standing his ground, he didn't ask for
anybody's help. And he didn't pick the fight, he just refused to be a Kid and back down
from Longley.
Teaspoon drags Jimmy to the sweat house telling him, "Son, you gotta learn control."
The entire sweat house scene is pretty funny, particularly the following exchange:
Jimmy: A body can't breathe in here.
Teaspoon: No, but his soul sure can.
Jimmy: Why...why do you always have to talk so crazy,
Teaspoon? I'm talking about breathin'. The air. And there ain't none in here.
Shortly after that Jimmy passed out. It was quite the hilarious scene. It never fails to
crack me up.
We see Sam in his office when someone starts knocking on the door. After unsuccessfully
trying to get the guy to walk around to the other door, Sam goes to answer the door and
sees that it's ROMAN FROM DAYS OF OUR LIVES!!!!! IN AN EFFORT TO DO ONE OF THOSE
CROSSOVER SHOWS (much like we see with Buffy and Angel these days) THE WRITERS PULL A
GUTSY MOVE WITH THE UNLIKELY COMBINATION OF THE YOUNG RIDERS AND DAYS OF OUR LIVES!
Quite frankly, I'm speechless. We hear Roman is also known as Ludney Bryan but is now
going as Burt Calwell. Or Caldwell. Whatever, it's of little consequence. We're also
introduced to Roman's son, but who really cares?
The next scene has a little shooting contest between Jimmy and Kid. This is interesting
for a couple of reasons. When Jimmy takes his first shot he shoots a stick. We see two
pieces of the stick get shot off but only hear one shot, and THEN Kid shoots a third
part of the stick off. One bullet somehow shot off two separate pieces of the stick?
Magic I suppose.
The other interesting thing that happened is Jimmy fired 9 shots during this scene and
Kid fired 8 shots WITHOUT EVER RELOADING THEIR GUNS! Apparently they DID call them
"six-shooters" for nothing.
Jimmy tells Kid that if he ever hits him again then he'll forget they're friends. Kid
then tries to explain he IS Jimmy's friend, that's why he hit him. Sorry Ewok boy
(that one's for you Ann!), but that line didn't work when my mom said it to me, so
don't expect Jimmy to buy it.
Roman's son shows up and chats a bit. Roman's close behind. Jimmy says he plans to use
his gun if he has to. Roman explains, "The better you get, the more you'll have to use
it. Stick to cans." Foreshadowing, my friends, it's all about foreshadowing.
Emma tries to get Sam to run Longley out of town. Sam says he hasn't done anything yet.
Emma isn't too happy so she goes to see Longley. Longley opens his door and says,
"Hello Emma, it's been a long time." Ooooh, they have a past!
We get back from commercials and see Emma asking Longley to leave Hickok alone. Longley
explains a man in his profession can't abide a public insult (nor could little Johnny
Betts!). Emma asks him how he was going to profit from taking a boy's life. "Pride
over profit," explains Longley. Longley sees the pocket watch. He mentions Emma's
father and how he (her father) never thought he (Longley) was good enough for her
(Emma). Longley decides he wants her watch and an apology from Jimmy. Longley kisses
Emma and she slaps him and runs off. YOU GO, GIRL! It's a good scene.
Let me just say Longley is one of the best bad guys in Young Riders history. He's
arrogant, he's unsympathetic, and he just makes you loathe him. He's a very interesting
character. I just wish we could've found out more about the history involving Longley,
Sam, and Emma. He's a real character. Scarface, from the first episode, was pretty
generic. He was a decent bad guy, but he didn't have the depth Longley has.
Emma then asks Jimmy to apologize to Longley. Jimmy doesn't want to, and who can blame
him? Emma says, "Jimmy, I never asked nothing from ya, but I am now." That's hardly a
fair statement! SHE'S ONLY KNOWN HIM FOR ONE EPISODE! SHE HASN'T HAD TIME TO ASK
ANYTHING FROM HIM! But Jimmy shows he can swallow his pride and agrees to do it.
Longley's taking a bath, one of his henchmen sees Roman come into town and we hear Sam
saying it's best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. One thing leads
to Tina Yothers and Longley calls out Ludney Bryan. Who? Oh yeah, Roman.
The henchman gives Roman his gun. Roman puts the gun on without hesitating. Am I the
only one bothered by that? Wouldn't he at least check to make sure it had bullets in
it? I'd even shoot it once to make sure everything was working. I mean, he's facing a
guy who wants to kill him so it's not beyond the realm of believability the guy would
give him a bad gun. Oh well.
Roman must've been good with the gun at one time because he says, "Six years ago, you
wouldn't have dared." Both men draw their guns and fire. Longley grabs his side. WAS
HE SHOT?!?!?! No, he pulls out his handkerchief. Roman starts to walk over to his son
and falls to the ground. Roman's son runs over to him and tries to see if his father
is OK. Sam pulls his jacket over his gun. MARK OUT TIME! Awesome move by Sam. Longley
walks away, unsympathetic. SEE??? How can you not hate the guy?? Quite possibly the
best Young Riders villain of all time, we'll see. The whole scene was very good. Very
tense, very dramatic. In fact, it's a "scene of the episode" contender. The way Longley
couldn't care less about Roman's son losing a father, it just makes you count away the
minutes until he gets what's coming to him.
We see Sam telling Longley the "Wanted Dead or Alive" poster for Roman isn't worth the
paper it's written on. In a weird scene that was later cut, Longley stands up and
starts to sing I WALK THESE STREETS...A LOADED SIX STRING ON MY BACK...I PLAY FOR
KEEPS...'CAUSE I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT BACK...I'VE BEEN EVERYWHEEEEEEERE...STILL I'M
STANDING TALL...I'VE SEEN A MILLION FACES...AND I'VE ROCKED THEM ALL!!!!!!!!! I'M
A COWBOY...ON A STEEL HORSE I RIIIIIIIIIDE...I'M WANTEEEED (WANTEEEED) DEAD OR
ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!
"Cop Rock," reeeeeeal good idea you had there, Mr. Bochco.
I love it when Sam tells Longley, "If you're still here when the sun goes down, I'll
forget I have a badge." Consider it a "Sam-worthy quip"!
OK, here we are. The scene I'm sure most of the Rider Review readers (since probably
all of you are females) most likely rate as your favorite. The scene Cass and Wen and
Ann probably play over and over for hours on end. That's right, it's the fence post
scene. We see all the guys with their shirts off building a fence. Let me just say as
a guy I am deeply offended. I want to see the story progress. I want to find out a
little more about Longley's past. I want to see Jimmy wrestle with some more of his
demons. But noooo, the writers decide it's a good idea to exploit the actors and make
them take their shirts off. Sad, so sad. It's sexist, plain and simple.
WHERE ARE THE BABES??? HAVEN'T THE WRITERS EVER HEARD OF THE "HOT BABE FACTOR"??????
And believe me, Lou doesn't count.
Ike taps his chest and then his head. Teaspoon tells him to quit complaining. Let's
see, I have the Johnny Betts Sign Language Dictionary here so now we can know exactly
what Ike was saying. OK, tapping the chest and then the head means...WHAT??? Ike was
wishing Teaspoon would have a heart attack while being horse-kicked in the head! WHAT
A JERK!!!!
We see Buck is wearing a vest but no shirt underneath. Made him look like Chief
Running Pimp. We also see he has a couple of loose strings hanging from the vest
sleeves, oh wait, those are his arms! BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, that never gets old. Well, not
to me at least. (Somewhere a Buck fan starts up an inflammatory e-mail and addresses
it to Johnny Betts).
In a funny line, Teaspoon tries to explain the boys can be proud of "being one of the
fine young men carving out a nation...fence post by fence post." Cody doesn't buy it.
We see Cody twisting a post around and around for no other reason than to flex his
muscles and make all the teenage girls swoon. I've done it many times myself, so I
can't say too much about it.
Check out Kid. He's trying really hard to press his arm against his side. It's an old
trick to try to make it look like you have a muscle. I will have to say that his chest
is bigger than Lou's, so that's something I suppose. (Somewhere Jen slowly shakes her
head, sighs, and mumbles to herself, "So much for Johnny trying his hand at cerebral.")
One last thing before we move on, isn't it suspicious none of the riders had hairy
chests? Granted, this was probably natural for Kid, but are we supposed to believe
that they'd take the time to shave their chests in the rugged ol' West? Or perhaps
this is supposed to make us think they REALLY are 15? Yes, that must be it.
All right, let's breeze through this. Lou won't take her shirt off, Jimmy notices
Emma's watch is missing, and Sam brings Roman's son to the station. Everybody finds out
Longley killed off Roman. Jimmy was obviously a "Days of Our Lives" fan because he starts
getting ready to pay Longley a visit. The little kid (whose name is Sam for anybody
who thought about e-mailing me) asks Jimmy if he's gonna kill the man who killed his
pa. Little Sam explains that if Jimmy doesn't kill him then he will when he's "growed"
up. Little Sam then continues to say "I will" about 28 times. All right, WE GET THE
POINT! Emma sees all of this, and she doesn't look happy.
Jimmy tells Cody he has an errand to run. Cody tells Kid, "He's going to kill Longley,
and he don't have a chance." Cody remembers the reflection in the window! The
foreshadowing is paying off.
We see Longley and his gang preparing to ride off. Jimmy shows up, saving Longley a
trip. Apparently, Jimmy was Longley's last order of business in Sweetwater. Ol'
Longley is ready for his apology. This is a very good scene, and Jimmy does an
excellent job of swallowing his pride:
Jimmy: Sorry.
Longley: Take off your hat. Now try it again.
Jimmy: I'm sorry.
Longley: What's that? I can't hear you.
Jimmy: I just apologized!
Longley: It doesn't count for much, you came too late.
I need something more.
Longley then demands Jimmy shine his boots. Ooooh, how can you not be cheering for Jimmy
to teach Longley a lesson??? Longley is just so smug he's begging for a beating!
Jimmy swallows his pride and shines Longley's boots with his neckerchief. Jimmy is
doing all of this for Emma's sake. You can see Jimmy doesn't want to apologize, you can
sense the reluctance in his actions. Listen to the way he says "Sorry." You can sense
his reluctance AND his insincerity, but you can also sense his desire to please Emma.
A lesser actor (COUGHtymillerHACK) couldn't have pulled it off. JOSH BROLIN RULES! I
wish there were a way to retroactively get him an Emmy for this scene alone. As you
may have guessed, this is a "scene of the episode" contender. Oh, we also see Kid and
Cody have shown up.
Longley refuses to give the watch back, he says there's only way Jimmy is going to get
it back. Jimmy seems to have no problem with that.
Remember how Buck warned Jimmy there's always one more waiting? Well, he wasn't just
shucking corn, folks. One of Longley's henchmen appeared on a balcony, but Cody
quickly dispersed of him. Kid then takes out another henchman. Longley fires off a
shot and hits Jimmy in the arm, but Jimmy quickly shoots down Longley! WOOOOO! Longley
flew backwards when he was shot, it looked pretty cool.
The riders walk over to Longley's fallen body and Jimmy gets Emma's watch. We hear a
few notes of the theme song playing kind of slowly. Trust me, it's cool.
We see Emma cooking, and then we seem Jimmy's hand appear. He's holding Emma's watch.
Jimmy: I believe this belongs to you.
Emma: Was it worth it?
Jimmy: I had no choice.
Emma: Did you want one?
Jimmy doesn't answer, then: Do you want me to leave?
Emma: I don't know.
Come on, JIMMY HAD NO CHOICE!!!! Man, some women are NEVER satisfied! Jimmy swallowed
his pride, he tried to offer Longley an apology that Longley certainly didn't deserve,
and then he finally faced down Longley when he wasn't given any other choice. On top
of all that, Jimmy was able to get Emma her father's watch back. IT WAS ONLY THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING SHE HAD! Again, I like Emma, but she was being a little hard on Jimmy.
So Jimmy walks outside but Emma comes out shortly after that. "Jimmy," she says,
"Breakfast ready in half an hour." And with that we end the second episode of the
Young Riders.
Is there any need to ask me what I thought of this episode? IT ABSOLUTELY RULED! It
might possibly be my favorite episode of the entire series. I think Beth will agree
with me when I say it further proved just how cool Jimmy is. It had some very funny
scenes and it had some very good tension. The show also gave us one of the best
villains in The Young Riders history. My only regret is they had Longley killed off
so soon. I would've liked to have seen him around for a few episodes. A few questions
were left unanswered as well. It would have been very cool to see them play out
Longley's past and his relationships with Emma and Sam a little more. He could have
been a very effective long-running character. That's OK, though, it was an excellent
episode. Definitely one to show to non-fans.
Time now for the after-show awards! The "stupid line of the episode" goes to the dude
in town who says, "Is he hurt? Is he hurt bad?" There wasn't much of a contest here.
Now let's get to the "scene of the episode." Man, this is a tough one. There were
three very worthy contenders. If you ask me on a different day then my choice may be
different, but for today I'm gonna say it has to be the scene where Longley demands an
apology from Jimmy because of the mud bath his horse gave him. You could sense the
tension among the other riders as they watched the confrontation between Jimmy and
Longley. Longley was very cool and calculated, and Jimmy showed no fear whatsoever. It
was just cool. I almost gave it to the scene where Longley and Roman have their
gunfight, but this is a "Jimmy episode."
Now for this episode's "Sam-worthy quip." There's really no other choice here, folks.
The award goes to...
Jimmy Hickok with, "Sorry, but apologizin' is something I only do on Sundays. Today's
Tuesday." Perfect delivery by Mr. Brolin. I hope to use this quote in real life as
well. Let's take a look at the scenario...
Punk 2: Who's riding the blue Wal-Mart brand mountain
bike that's outside?
Johnny: That'd be me.
Punk 2: Ah, then you owe me an apology.
Johnny: For what?
Punk 2: For parking in my space.
Johnny: I didn't see your name written anywhere on the
little bike grill thing.
Punk 2: It's still my space. So I suggest you apologize
and then move your bike.
Johnny: Sorry, but apologizin' is something I only do
on Sundays. Today's Tuesday.
BOOYA! Then the little punk would run off with his tail between his legs and I'd be my
wife's hero all over again. Of course, if the day isn't Tuesday then it'd be OK to
replace "Tuesday" with whatever day it actually is.
That'll do it for this Rider Review. Jessie wants me to do these reviews often
(last-second name-dropping), so I hope this was quick enough for you! Once again,
e-mail me with all your praises and criticisms. I love to pat myself on the back for
a job well done. Don't forget this week's trivia question! Name two other projects
that Josh Brolin and Jay O. Sanders have worked on together. This is for a mention
in the next Rider Review!
Oh, one more thing before I dismiss class. How old are you Johnny Betts fans? I'm 25
so I'm interested in knowing how much older or younger my audience is. Send me an
e-mail and let me know if you want. If you don't want to give away your exact age then
you can just say "older" or whatever.
Well, this review was a LITTLE shorter than the first one. But it was a "Jimmy
episode," so it was hard for me to cut back. And hey, some people (yay Cass!) wouldn't
mind them being even longer! (Somewhere Kathleen drops her head and shudders). Don't
worry, once we get to a "Kid episode" I'll be doing even less "blow-by-blow retelling."
You'll see Johnny Betts slip things into cruise control then.
I'll end in the immortal words of Waylon Jennings: Just-a good ol' boys, never meaning
no harm. Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was
born.
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good, folks. I can only hope I'm not
misunderstood. This is Johnny Betts and remember, this has been my opinion, you could
be wrong.
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