Email Pranks
By Johnny Betts
My Initial Email to Blimpie
Subject: GREAT idea for Blimpie
Hello, Johnny Betts here. I'm just writing to let you know that I have a great
marketing slogan for Blimpie. Ever since my "John Deere incident" (long story),
I've had a lot of free time on my hands to sit around and think up great ideas for
businesses. My mom claims I've just been sitting on my hands and doing nothing, but
she's the one who only does my laundry twice a week so what makes her think she has
room to talk? Anyway, I know you'll love my idea.
You know how Blimpie sells chips as a side item? Well, I think it would be a great
idea to have a marketing promotion where for a limited time you offered a free bag of
chips with every purchase of a sub sandwich. Then you could use the following slogan:
"Our sandwiches are all that...and a bag of chips."
In the commercial I envision a pretty, smiling employee holding up a bag of chips and
then winking at the camera. Maybe you could show her teeth sparkle and make a little
"ding" noise for some added effect.
Not only would you increase revenue (as a result of the increase in customers), but
you would also show the young folk that your hip to today's popular catchphrases. I
think it'd be great for everyone.
I don't see too many Blimpie commercials, and this would be a great way to be
competitive in that market. Subway has the "Jared commercials", and while they've
been somewhat effective, I think everybody agrees that they've run their course and
the time is ripe for something new to come along.
You could even have a really fat mascot named Blimpie. That would show customers that
you don't serve wimpy, non-fat sandwiches like Subway, you serve food for real men.
In the commercial when you show the smiling employee, Blimpie could be in the back
"stirring the pot" or doing the "running man" dance while singing, "All that and a bag
of chips, all that and a bag of chips."
Well, that's my pitch. Let me know what you think. I can always use more money, so
I'll be looking forward to the additional income. Would I be getting a lump-sum
payment for my idea or a portion of the increased profits? Just let me know. At the
very least I'd take a free sub sandwich or two. Thanks!
jb
Blimpie Doesn't Initially Respond
Welp, Blimpie didn't respond to this idea, but I didn't let that get me down. I
figured I just needed to hit them with an even bigger idea. They were probably
just waiting to see if I'd recognize their silence as a call for an even better
idea. Everyone will be glad to know that Johnny Betts received the call, and he
answered it in a big way.
Johnny Sends His Second Advertising Idea!
Hello, Johnny Betts here. I sent you an email yesterday with a suggestion for a great
ad campaign for Blimpie. Well, you're in luck! I have another great idea for the
Blimpie mascot.
Everybody is tired of skinny-boy Jared from the Subway commercials. A real man wants
a real sub sandwich, not one that's going to make him lose 200 pounds. So what you
need is a commercial showing a man before eating at Blimpie and then one AFTER eating
at Blimpie.
The "before" guy would be some Jared look-alike with a big frown on his face and would
be called "Wimpie". The "after" guy would be about 200 pounds heavier, he'd be holding
a Blimpie sandwich in one hand, rubbing his huge belly with the other, and smiling the
whole time. His name? BLIMPIE! And there's your mascot. We could use some computer
graphics to work on the before and after photos.
I hope you jump on this idea while it's hot. If the statistics are true that 61% of
all Americans are obese then why not try to give Americans what they want? What they
do not want is to look like Subway Jared. Let me know what you think, I think the
idea is gold, gold I tell you.
jb
Proof That Persistence Pays Off!
From: Bierbaum, Faith
To: johnny_betts@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Feedback received from www.blimpie.com
Thanks for all your ideas. I'll forward them along to our agency and
they will contact you if they want to use them.
Faith Bierbaum
Executive Assistant to the Vice President of Marketing
Blimpie International, Inc.
1775 The Exchange, Suite 600
Atlanta, GA 30339
ANALYSIS
SCORE! It's obvious that Blimpie and I will be doing business together very soon.
How many people get a personalized email from Blimpie's executive assistant to the
VP of marketing? May I please see a show of hands of everybody out there who has
been so privileged? Didn't think so.
"They will contact you if they want to use [your ideas]" can be roughly translated
as, "expect a call soon". I know it's hard to contain your excitement for me, but
just be patient. I will keep everybody updated on the situation.
|
