Volume 1, Issue 1
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What's wrong with this world?

What's Wrong With Drivers?

Fast Food Workers

People at Airports

Elevator Impatience

What's Wrong With Parents?

Truck Beds Aren't for Trash

Zen Gardens?

Checkout Lines

10 Items or Less

Bookstore Employees

Celebrity Cookware

Get a Job

Garage Sale Deals


   
What's Wrong With People and Elevators?
By Johnny Betts

I'm at work the other day waiting for the elevator. I'm on the third floor and I was ready to head out. The elevator button light was on, showing it had clearly been pushed. But was that good enough for some old dude that was getting impatient while waiting for the elevator? Nope. Never mind the fact that we're in a 20-story building and so sometimes it takes a while for the elevator to land on our floor. Old dude figured he'd better angrily push the elevator button a few more times.

"I'm Mr. Impatient, and I've been waiting for this elevator for 20 seconds! Better push it about 12 more times!" I guess I missed the orientation that taught that the more times you push the elevator button then the faster it'll reach your floor. Push it twice and it gets there twice as fast I suppose. Push it twenty times and it gets there twenty times as fast! WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE??

Reader: If I take twice as many Tylenol will the headache that reading the Doorless Stall gave me go away twice as fast?

Johnny: Not in my experience. Ingrate.
Copyright 2002 Madlib Productions, All Rights Reserved

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