Volume 1, Issue 1
[ Home | Intro | Articles and Editorials | Email Pranks | The Rider Review | What's Wrong With People? ]

The Kid
Home of the Brave
Speak No Evil
Bad Blood
Black Ulysses
Ten-Cent Hero
False Colors
A Good Day to Die
End of Innocence
Blind Love
The Keepsake
Fall From Grace
Hard Time
Lady For a Night
Unfinished Business
Daddy's Girl
Matched Pair
Man Behind the Badge
Then There Was One
Gathering Clouds Part 1
Gathering Clouds Part 2



Born to Hang

The Rider Review - Black Ulysses
By Johnny Betts

Well, well, well. It's been quite some time, huh? I know, I know, I've been gone for a LOOOONG time. IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BEEN HOME ... I'VE BEEN GONE, I'VE BEEN GONE FOR WAAAAAY TOO LOOOONG!!!! You readers have sent me enough e-mail constantly reminding me of that fact, but hey, I'm back now!

"That's really great Johnny. That truly warms the cockles of my heart, but WHERE have you been? You can't just go two months without writing a review and expect to come back without giving us any explanation! WE'RE YOUR FANS AND WE DEMAND AN EXPLANATION!"

OK, calm down! I'm gonna give you a quick list of excuses as to what's kept me away. I don't think I can remember every single excuse, but here's the general idea:

  1. My birthday, February 9. If you'd like to send me a gift then e-mail me and I'll give you details on where to send the gift.
  2. Valentine's Day.
  3. Two huge projects at work that kept me from doing as much writing at work as I would've liked.
  4. My freelance writing career. I've been trying to get that going full-force and some assignments require research.
  5. The de-motivation factor of having to review Black Ulysses, it's not one of my favorite episodes.
  6. New ideas I've been messing with for the review.
  7. Clint Eastwood. Yes folks, Clint Eastwood has long been one of my favorite actors (he and Josh Brolin being the top two), and I've recently embarked on a journey to watch every single one of his movies.
  8. Responding to reader e-mails asking me where I've been and when I'm gonna write a new review.
  9. Easter, I just keep adding excuses as I procrastinate.
  10. A book I'm writing.
That's basically it. There are other small things that would steer me off track every once in a while (a new Playstation game that I bought with my birthday money, etc.), and well, the time just slipped away.

"So why did you decide to come back Johnny? What did it for you?"

Well, day after day I'd get e-mail from some of my long-time fans telling me to hurry up, telling me that the reviews were missed. When Kathleen recently updated the site, she totally forgot that there wasn't a link to the reviews. I didn't want the reviews to sink into oblivion. I didn't want people to forget about them. Then I received the following e-mail:

"Hey Johnny, it's been a while since you've done a review. I can't even find your old reviews on the Rider's Coming site anymore! My friends and I were talking about you the other day. I still use some of your sayings. Your influence lives on dude! How's it feel to be a ghost?"

That's when it hit me. It hit me like Ike Turner after Tina refused to fluff his pillow. I'm not a ghost. Ghosts are dead; I'm very much alive (not that I believe in ghosts, I just wanted to use that line from "Hollow Man"). That's when I decided that it was high time to entertain my fans once again. Sure, I'm busy, but is it really fair for me to shirk my duties as the guy who provides an ounce of joy to your mundane lives? Do heroes sit idly by as a nation cries for help?

A friend of mine (we'll call him Baker's Dozen), found out what I was up to, and he didn't like the idea. He saw me hooking up the ol' keyboard and thought posting the reviews again was a bad idea. I suppose he was afraid of the consequences I might face in deciding to step back into the thick of things. But what you have to understand is Batman and Superman didn't go around saving the world with no obstacles. They faced peril from all angles; it just kind of comes with the territory. Did Clint Eastwood ever back away from anything? I think not (well, he backed away from coolness when he hurt my feelings by doing "Bridges of Gaydison County"). But at any rate, here's how the conversation broke down:

JB = Johnny Betts BD = Baker's Dozen

*I noticed him in the back of my office*

JB: You oughtta know better than to sneak up on me like that.
BD: I wasn't sneakin', just watching.
JB: Don't you have anything better to do than poke around my stuff?
BD: Nope. Johnny, how come you decided to do the Rider Reviews again?
JB: Because some fans asked me too.
BD: Johnny, men like you, men who live by the keyboard, usually don't get a chance to walk away, but you did. And now you're starting back up again? It just doesn't make sense.
JB: It makes perfect sense. Baker's, there comes a time in every man's life when he can't look back. Even though it seems like the path he's about to choose is going to lead to some place he's been to before; it doesn't matter, because he knows he isn't the same man going down the path.
BD: Well what about these notches on your keyboard then? Didn't you once tell me that every notch has a reason and every reason a ghost?
JB: That's right, ghosts. That's all they are.
BD: But every one's got a relative, and if they don't then they've got a friend. You go back to writing Rider Reviews again and they'll be drawn to you like fleas to a dog, Johnny.
JB: That's right. But let me tell you something, just between you and me, this dog may have been gone away for a while, but he ain't forgot how to scratch.

It's quite simple really. Every kid needs a hero, someone they can look up to. Dad and granddad are always good heroes, but most kids look for something more. They look for that voice that speaks for them. They look for the guy who's been in their shoes and knows what it's like to be them. They look for someone that makes them say, "I want to be like him when I grow up." They look for the guy who does what's right rather than what the "rules" say he should do. You see, history isn't made by following the rules, history is made by seizing the moment. And Johnny Betts, my friends, is back to seize the moment.

*Johnny's readers pop huge and chant 'JOHNNY! JOHNNY! JOHNNY!'*

Now if that isn't a nice comeback then I simply don't know what is. I don't have too much to say before getting started. Thanks to everybody who liked the lyrics my wife wrote for the theme music. She sends her appreciation. Also, I'd like to recognize all those people who got the last trivia questions correct. If you've forgotten the questions then reread the "Bad Blood" review. The first quote I referenced came from "Blazing Saddles," and the Young Riders episode I referenced in that one scene was "Littlest Cowboy." You still don't know what I'm talking about? WELL THAT'S WHY I TOLD YOU TO GO BACK AND LOOK AT THE LAST REVIEW!!! Any way, here are the people who got one or both right:

Both questions: Katta, Beth, Jeanette
Littlest Cowboy reference: Aimee, Nora, Raye, Rhiannon (way to go!) and Lori.

If I left anybody out then I'm sure you'll e-mail me and let me know about it. As far as the Rider Review Mark of the Week goes, we have three of them -- Aimee, Jeanette, and Lori. Congratulations, keep up the good work. Now let's get to business, shall we? Well, since I'm running this dog-and-pony show I say yes, we shall.

The format of this Rider Review will be a little different than the previous reviews. The reason for this is because we have a special guest who is going to be sitting in on the review with us. That's right folks, we'll be able to get first-hand information from someone who was actually there! This is a pretty exciting moment for the Rider Review. I look forward to hearing how y'all like it. Every now and then I'll have a comment on life that I'll want to make aside from the interview. When I'm ready to do this I'll preface it with the following: **Life Comment by Johnny. The interviewee will have no knowledge of these comments. So without further ado let me introduce everybody to my special guest ... Kid!

Johnny: Welcome to the Rider Review, Kid, I'm glad you could join us.

Kid: Thanks for having me, it's my pleasure to be here. However, I've heard that you've had the tendency to poke fun at me in the past, what's that all about?

Johnny: I don't know, but what's your hairdo all about? I think that's the real question at hand.

Kid: That's the kind of remarks that I'm talking about! I came here for an interview regarding Black Ulysses, not to be insulted.

Johnny: Welp, you came to the wrong place then. Don't worry, you'll have plenty of opportunity to defend yourself. But I can't change the format of my review just to keep you from being offended. I'm sure you understand.

Kid: Yeah, that's fair enough I suppose.

Johnny: Good, I knew you'd agree. Now let's see, the show starts off with a storm and the riders trying to calm the horses down ...

Kid: Show? This ain't no dog-and-pony act like your little Rider Review, this is real life.

Johnny: Ah yes, that's correct, I'm sorry. As I was saying, before you and your hair interrupted me, things start off with a storm. We see that Katy's hurt. The doctor couldn't see anything at first, but you told him to check her leg again.

Kid and Katy Kid: That's correct. I knew her so well; after all, she was all I had.

Johnny: Yes, that's what you told the doctor. But don't you think it's kind of weird to be making statements about your horse like that?

Kid: What's weird about it? Just because I used to sleep in the barn with her doesn't mean anything. I mean, it's just, you know, I, um, well, let's just move on. It's no big deal.

Johnny: No big deal? And I guess you think it's no big deal that you FRAUDULENTLY won Katy in the first place do you? Hmm? I guess you figured people wouldn't realize that you didn't last the full three minutes against Irish Johnny McClarnen.

Kid: Look, my face was getting pounded so hard that I really had no concept of time at the moment. It's not my fault they called the match too early.

Johnny: Why not return the money then?

Kid: I needed the money, and more importantly, I needed the companionship that I knew Katy would bring.

Johnny: Um, maybe you're right, maybe we should just move on. Where were we? Oh yeah, the doctor reexamined Katy's leg and found an abscess. He agreed not to charge you if you promised not to show him up anymore. How does it feel to constantly get a free ride?

Kid: I can't help it if I know his work better than he does.

Johnny: No, I guess you can't. Now Emma noticed that a foal was missing, and that's when we see Ulysses carrying it in his arms. He was looking for some work, but you seemed sort of surprised to see him.

Kid: Well, back in Virginia we just weren't used to seeing colored folk being out in the open like that.

Johnny: Was it scary for you?

Kid: A little. But if he was willing to work then that was fine with me.

Johnny: Cody had a funny comment when he said that Ulysses could have his share of the work. Jimmy stated he'd take that any day. Was Cody known to be lazy?

Kid: Yeah, he had a lazy streak in him, but Jimmy also liked to pick on him. I, on the other hand, don't believe in being lazy or picking on other people. It's not proper.

Johnny: Well, Cody was known to pull a prank or two as well. The next morning he held Jimmy's nose shut until Jimmy woke up.

Kid: Yeah, I'd never do something like that.

GAP ad Johnny: It's all harmless fun. He just wanted to wake Jimmy up because they had to go fix the corral. Jimmy had the perfect response when he said, "You're gonna need your jaw fixed if you wake me up like that again." But when they headed outside they noticed that Ulysses had already fixed the corral. Not bad.

Kid: No, but them colored folk knew how to work.

Johnny: Whoa, isn't that a bit of a stereotype?

Kid: That's just how I saw it back in Virginia.

**Life Comment by Johnny: I was driving somewhere the other day when I saw a car with a homemade sign on the back of the window that said, "Tiffany says: Shake Dem Hatas Off." More powerful advice was never given, my friends. I think I'm gonna add the sign to the back windshield of my truck. The chick just made the letters with pieces of tape I think, so it shouldn't be too hard. It will go well with the "I Brake for Monster Booty" bumper sticker that I have.

Johnny: Cody seem impressed (as he walked around with his shirt unbuttoned), and Teaspoon told him that some people actually work without a kick in the pants.

Kid: I'm pretty sure he was talking about me. I always did my job and never really needed anybody to tell me to do what I already knew I needed to be doing.

Roundhouse Kick Johnny: Riiiiight. Well, tell us about the fire at Doc Wheeler's barn. Everybody started running over there, and I thought you were about to have a heart attack the way you were freaking out.

Kid: What do you expect? It was a very tense moment! Katy was trapped in the barn and I thought she was going to die.

Johnny: The riders had to hold you back and keep you from storming into the barn. Were you on a suicide mission or something?

Kid: I would've died trying to save her if I had to. If she had died then I'm sure I would've committed suicide. Luckily, Ulysses cut a hole in the roof to release some of the smoke and the riders and I were able to cut through the barn and save Katy. Whew. I've never been so scared in my life. Ulysses took his shirt off and we saw whip marks on his back. That's when I knew he was a slave.

Johnny: A runaway slave apparently. I know this because we next saw a man getting 50 lashes just because he gave Ulysses shelter. Buck happened upon the scene and they showed him a picture of Ulysses, but he denied knowing him. Buck had his gun cocked in case there was any trouble.

The Limbo! Kid: Yeah, you have to be ready at all times. The next thing I remember was I was with Sam when the militia rode up looking for Ulysses.

Johnny: Yeah, Sam stood up to them pretty well. He had a very good comment when he told the Colonel, "You understand something, I make the law around here. And you take another step sideways and I'll show you how I back it up." In fact, that'll have to be the first contender for the Sam-worthy quip of the episode, or Snaps, as Jess wants me to call it.

Kid: Sam-worthy quip? Snaps? What are you talking about?

Johnny: I explained this before the interview, it's all in the guidelines I handed to you.

Kid: Oh, sorry.

Johnny: Maybe we should have an award for "The Best Interruption by Kid During this Interview." There's so many to choose from though, it'd be pretty hard to pick just one.

Kid: Very funny.

Johnny: Thanks, I thought so as well. So anyway, Sam told the militia that nobody tells him how to run his town and they rode off. We then see that Ulysses was eating alone outside. That scene hit a little too close to home for me. Oh if I could only release from my mind the memories of all the times I was forced to eat outside by myself. Do you know how it feels to be in the cold with a bowl of orange soup looking through the window and seeing everybody laughing and smiling in the warmth of the kitchen while eating steak and potatoes? Do you know how that feels? WHY NOT INVITE ME INSIDE TO EAT WITH EVERYBODY ELSE?? Would that have been so bad, mother?? Um, I mean, why not invite Ulysses inside to eat with everybody else?

Kid: Because we wanted to be able to talk about him behind his back. Jimmy was concerned about what he might have done. I wisely pointed out that he was somebody's property, but Jimmy said he wasn't worried because he wasn't going to take his eyes off of him.

Johnny: Yeah, which was kind of weird because in later episodes Jimmy seemed to feel different about runaway slaves, but I digress.

Kid: You die what?

Johnny: Never mind. The upshot of it all is that Ulysses overheard the conversation and decided he'd leave. Later that night he tried to sneak into Emma's house and take his jacket, but she was awakened and happened to have her rifle with her. Sheesh, is this episode about my family? When she screamed for Ulysses not to move all the riders came in to see what was going on. I guess Emma didn't trust Ulysses too much herself.

Kid: No, no one really did. We didn't exactly know his story so we all figured it'd be best if we stayed alert. Ulysses finally told us the situation he was in. His master beat his mom so bad that she died and then he started whipping Ulysses. Ulysses killed his master because he decided he wasn't going to stand for anymore whippings.

Black Ulysses Johnny: And then for some reason you asked Ulysses why he ran. You actually asked him why he didn't just tell the sheriff his story. Come on, Kid. You're from Virginia; do you really think that would've done him any good?

"Yo, sheriff, I killed my master, but it was in self-defense."
"Oh, OK Ulysses, I guess you're a free man now."

Then you go and tell Ulysses that he was a heck of a man and you'd stand behind him. You seemed to be more friendly to Ulysses than you were to Noah when he joined the riders.

Kid: Well yeah, Ulysses saved Katy! If Noah had ever saved Katy's life then maybe I would've been a bit kinder to him.

Johnny: Sure thing, Fro Locks. Let me just interject and say that you at least didn't earn the eye-rolling scene of the episode. That has to go to Buck when he had to point out that "his people" knew injustice just like Ulysses. GET OVER IT ALREADY! Sorry, but sometimes the stereotypes were overdone. I wonder why Buck never went around hitting his open hand on his mouth and making that "ah ah ah ah ah" Indian sound? Now THAT would've ruled!

Kid: I'm glad I didn't win the eye-rolling scene, but do I win anything for the episode?

Johnny: (pauses) Soooo, moving along, everyone decided that it would be best to tell the town what was going on. Ulysses tried to warn everyone that by talking to the town you were risking a town full of enemies. Then Ike gave two little shakes of his finger and Buck somehow interpreted that as "we weren't all that popular in town to begin with." That's quite a bit to get out of two little shakes of the finger, don't you think?

Kid: Yeah, I agree. My theory is that Buck didn't always know what Ike was signing, so he'd just wing it. I know that I had to do that every now and then.

Johnny: Cody did have a funny comeback with, "Speak for yourself, Ike."

Kid: There's nothing funny about being a braggart. I believe in being modest.

Johnny: Yeah, and you apparently believe in being naive, too. You actually told Ulysses that the townspeople would come through.

Kid: They did.

Johnny: Well, at the end maybe, but there for a while no one wanted anything to do with Ulysses.

Kid: Doesn't matter. I didn't say the townspeople would come through at the start, I just said that they would come through, and they did. BOOYA!

Johnny: Where in the world did you learn the word "Booya"?

Kid: You made mention of it in the guidelines you gave me.

Johnny: Oh, that's right. I'm surprised you remembered. So let's see, ah yes, Lou was chased by the militia, but she managed to escape. That must have been a big relief for you.

Kid: Yeah, it was, but it wasn't quite on par with the relief I felt when we pulled Katy from the barn. Goodness, I wouldn't want to go through that ordeal again. Lou can fend for herself better than Katy can.

Cody and Jimmy Sleep Johnny: We see a very funny scene where Hickok and Cody are sleeping against the barn. Teaspoon makes a noise that wakes them up. They immediately jump up and start looking at the barn, acting like they had been doing some major work. Cody asks Teaspoon what he thinks. A piece of the barn falls off showing that they hadn't been too hard at work.

Kid: I'm glad you think it's funny, but I don't find anything funny about sleeping on the job. That's definitely not something I would have been caught doing.

Johnny: Maybe not, but I'm nominating the scene as the first "classic scene" contender of the show because it's just so funny and so subtle. We'll call it "the scene where Cody and Jimmy are sleeping against the barn rather than working on it."

Kid: That's kind of a long name.

Johnny: You have any other suggestions?

Kid: How about "the scene where Cody and Jimmy are very un-Kid like"?

Johnny: That's long also! We'll stick with my name. Anyway, Lou rides in and says that the militia is coming. Teaspoon tells the riders to get to the town meeting while he buys them some time. The following scene is also very funny and will also be a "classic scene" contender. We'll call it "the scene where Teaspoon does some funny stuff to delay the militia and buy the riders some time."

Kid: What about the scene where I save Katy?

Johnny: You mean the scene I had to rewind 3 times because I kept falling asleep? Nah, that one falls short I'm afraid.

Kid: That's OK because good things come in short packages, like my one true love -- Aimee!

Johnny: Whoa, what if Lou hears you talking like that?

Kid: It doesn't matter, the worst thing a man can do is bottle up his true feelings. I strongly believe that.

Johnny: If you say so. All I know is that the militia wanted to search the place but Teaspoon asked for some documentation. He then took his time pulling out his "spectacles," and when he finally got them on he said that he sure wished he could read. The Colonel pushed him away. I laughed heartily.

The soldiers start looking around the way station. One of the guys goes into the bunkhouse and lifts up a pillow AND ULYSSES WAS HIDING UNDERNEATH IT!!!! What in the world was that?? Go back and watch and you'll see the dude lift up the pillow with the end of his rifle. They were looking for Ulysses! Did the soldier really expect Ulysses to pop up from under the pillow and say, "Peek-a-boo, you got me"?

Kid: Now I'll have to admit, THAT was funny.

Johnny: Thanks, you're too kind.

Kid: I always believe in being kind and nice to others, it's the mor...


**Life Comment by Johnny: Speaking of Colonels, did you see where Louisville, Kentucky was trying to get the Vancouver Grizzlies to move their basketball team to Louisville? The big sales pitch was that Kentucky Fried Chicken would be the main sponsor and the team name would be the Kentucky Colonels while the new arena would be called the KFC Bucket. I'm not making this up folks; somebody in Louisville actually thought this was a good idea. Obviously, Louisville didn't get the team. If any of you readers are from Louisville then you have my permission to be embarrassed. The KFC Bucket, PUH-LEASE!

Scat! So anyway, the search was unfruitful. Teaspoon said he hoped the militia didn't find Ulysses, and the Colonel hit him with his gun. At the town meeting we see Emma giving everybody an ear full. Several people in attendance give their opinion, and the upshot of it all is that the town didn't want to risk taking on the militia just to protect Ulysses. That's when Jimmy told you, "Guess you were wrong, can't count on these people to do squat."

Kid: It was a little disappointing. We had to come up with a plan to get Ulysses back to Emma's, so we stuck him in the back of a carriage and took off. Sam started calling the shots from that point on. He was going to try to delay the militia to buy us some time.

Johnny: Yeah, but Cody pointed out that Sam wasn't going to sweet talk the militia. I noticed that you were waiting for some sort of a signal from Buck. He just showed up on the roof and went "caw caw" and that was your cue?

Kid: Yeah, he said something about how Indians just make a bunch of bird noises, and that's how they send messages to each other.

Johnny: If you say so. Sam told the Colonel that Ulysses was in the doc's office, but the Colonel hit Sam with his gun when he realized that Sam was lying. We saw Buck go "caw caw" again, and I'm pretty sure it's the EXACT same scene as when he did it the first time.

Kid: What?

Johnny: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.

Kid: Oh, OK.

Johnny: Soon after that the militia stopped you, and although you and Emma tried to keep moving I guess Ulysses knew things were about to go bad because he took off running.

Kid: Yeah, and things could've gotten messy. The soldiers caught him, and the rest of the riders drew their guns, but they were outnumbered. One of the soldiers held a gun to us and said that they'd trade Emma and me for Ulysses. The soldiers knew the riders would choose us. I did too, but it's always scary being held at gunpoint.

Johnny: Luckily for Ulysses the townsfolk came out with their guns. That made Cody flash a big grin. Then some Mel Brooks lookalike told the soldiers to just keep on riding.

Kid: The Colonel should've taken his advice. The rest of the soldiers knew they weren't going to win, but the Colonel started charging and I had no choice but to shoot him.

Johnny: Why didn't you start whining about how it just didn't seem right?

Kid: Well, it's like Sam said, in the West you have to grow up fast or not at all.

Johnny: Ah, it seems as though you're starting to learn. Everybody seemed to be happy that the situation was over. Teaspoon invited Ulysses to stay, but Ulysses was heading for Canada and wanted to help out other slaves. Then you tell Ulysses that you hoped someday y'all could sit down together and not worry about who belonged where. That seemed a bit out of character for you, Virginia boy.

Kid Holds it In Kid: All I know is that Ulysses was the guy who saved my dear Katy. That's what was important to me at the time.

Johnny: OK, I'll bring up the discrepancies in a future review. Did you ever get the chance to sit down with Ulysses without worrying about who belonged where?

Kid: No, never heard from him again.

Johnny: Oh well, I figured as much. Well Kid, I've got to add some finishing touches to my review, so I'll let you run along and tend to Katy or something. Thanks for joining us, we'll have to get you to drop by for another review.

Kid: Sure thing, thanks for having me. I'll tell Katy you said hello. COUGHpleaseI'mbeggingyougorentUSSealsHACK

Johnny: You OK?

Kid: Yeah, sorry, something was caught in my throat. I'm OK now. Thanks again, I'll drop by sometime soon.

Johnny: All right, take care.

Well, wasn't that nice of Kid to stop by for a quick interview? Granted, he doesn't have much else on his plate these days, but it was still nice of him. Now let's get to the post-show awards. I don't feel like dragging them out with a bunch of pomp and circumstance, so here are the winners:

The Sam-worthy quip goes to Sam Cain with, "You understand something, I make the law around here. And you take another step sideways and I'll show you how I back it up." That reminds me of the time I tried to use this line with my mom. I remember it like it was yesterday...

Mrs. Betts: You understand something Johnny, you don't just leave your clothes lying around the house expecting me to clean up after you.
Johnny: You understand something, I make the law around here. And you take another step sideways and I'll show you how I back it up.

Probably not one of my better ideas as she showed me the back of her hand. She paused for a second though; I had caught her off guard. I knew she was scared, she saw her authority being usurped and her only response was a knee-jerk back-of-the-hand to my face. She thought she was calling my bluff. I calmly said, "I'll count that as a step sideways," and then drop-kicked her into next week. I didn't exactly come out victorious though because when my dad got home he drop-kicked my butt into my room for a week. They never understood that confining me to my room just gave me all the more time to organize my next plan of attack.

The Classic Scene of the episode goes to, "The scene where Cody and Jimmy are sleeping against the barn rather than working on it." It was very simple but very funny. I rewound the tape to watch it about three times. Plus, that's totally something I'd do. Like the time my neighbor Ms. Goiter Neck said she'd pay me to build her a doghouse for her stupid poodle. I didn't want to do it, but I needed the extra cash. I had already started working on the house when I found out that due to some social security mishap she wasn't going to pay me as much as she originally thought she would.

I bid a fond adieu to motivation and started spending most of my time reclined against the "doghouse" and catching up on my sleep. She'd startle me awake when she came to bring me some lemonade. I never brought myself to drink the stuff because I just knew there were probably goiter flakes in it. Goiterade I'd call it. I'd ask her how the doghouse looked and she acted like it was OK. After I finished taping everything together I called it quits and went about my merry way. Suffice it to say, Ms. Goiter Neck learned a little lesson in "you get what you pay for" when the walls came tumbling down on little Fifi. Don't worry, I used poster board, so the dog wasn't seriously injured.

So what did I think of the episode? It wasn't one of my favorites, but it was OK. It's not one I'd show to first-time viewers. The two classic scenes were very entertaining and really made the show.

Wow, I finally finished this review. I can't wait for everyone to tell me how great it was. The next review will be for "Ten-Cent Hero," which is one of my favorite episodes. I'm going to try to have Hickok here for an interview, so send me any questions that you might like me to ask him. Listen up Kid fans, this is your chance to put him on the hot seat! Don't neglect to take advantage of this opportunity.

I hope you liked the new review. Let me know what you thought of the interview format. I'm always trying new stuff in an effort to keep things fresh. It feels good to get this review over with.

Oh, has anybody seen the movie "Memento" with Guy Pearce? If you like movies that'll make you think then you'll like this movie. If you've seen it then send me an e-mail and let me know your theories about the ending. I'll let you know if you're right or not.

It feels good to shake off the dust and get back in the swing of things. I've given you plenty of my own thoughts to chew on, so let me leave you with the immortal words of Tiffany, "Shake dem hatas off."

I've been gone a long time, but one thing that never changes is that this is just my opinion, you could be wrong.
The Sun Sets on The Rider Review
Copyright 2002 Madlib Productions, All Rights Reserved

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