Volume 1, Issue 1
[ Home | Intro | Articles and Editorials | Email Pranks | The Rider Review | What's Wrong With People? ]

The Kid
Home of the Brave
Speak No Evil
Bad Blood
Black Ulysses
Ten-Cent Hero
False Colors
A Good Day to Die
End of Innocence
Blind Love
The Keepsake
Fall From Grace
Hard Time
Lady For a Night
Unfinished Business
Daddy's Girl
Matched Pair
Man Behind the Badge
Then There Was One
Gathering Clouds Part 1
Gathering Clouds Part 2



Born to Hang

The Rider Review - A Good Day to Die
By Johnny Betts

I = Johnny Betts. This = Rider Review. You = Indifferent Reader.

Folks, I started doing these Rider Reviews back in October of 2000. Do you realize that this is just the ninth review I've done in over a year? At this rate it'll take me almost 8 years to finish all the reviews. That's just too long. I've got stuff to do! I have books I want to write! Believe me, I'm the first person that doesn't want it to take 8 years to finish the reviews.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - Thanks to my recent torrid pace it might now only take me about 6 1/2 years to finish the reviews.]

So what's the solution? Beats me. I'll experiment with a couple of ideas, and we'll just see if it works. I'll let you know if it does or not. One thing that would help me tremendously is if I had scripts for the episodes. It would save me a LOT of note-taking trouble. Does ANYBODY out there have some scripts that they can make me copies of? Come on, it can be your Christmas gift to me, just as this Rider Review is my Christmas gift to you.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - Over a year and a half later and no one ever came forward with scripts. Woe is me.]

As many of you already know, I'm in the process of developing my own Web page. The Rider Review will be on my page, but it'll also stay on the Riders Coming! Web site. The creation of a Rider Review Web page will help speed up the process of delivering the Rider Review, and it'll also allow me the chance to post other funny material in between reviews. It'll also make the reviews a little shorter. That's not a bad thing though. Material that I usually include in the reviews (such as the wildly popular "What's Wrong With People?") will have their own section on the Web page. This is the plan, and I think it's a good one. If all goes according to plan you'll be getting more reviews and more material from me on a more frequent basis. How can that not be good?

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - Welp, as you all know I did indeed complete my website. However, the reviews have not gotten any shorter. In fact, they've gotten even longer. Go figure. Sometimes you can't edit hilarity.]

You better read EVERYTHING on my Web site though and not just the reviews. If I find out that some of you are just using me for my reviews and not taking advantage of the display of my full comedic talents then there'll be trouble, oh how there'll be trouble.

Let me just go ahead and say I'm not in the best of moods while writing this review. I just got finished watching my beloved Memphis Tigers lose to the Ole Miss Rebels in basketball. That drops us to 6-3. Absolutely pathetic. A lot of preseason polls had us ranked in the top 10, and now we're about to fall out of the top 25 completely. I know most of you don't care, but I DO! It's the same ol' story every year and I'm getting tired of it. Let the reader beware, I may vent my frustration in the direction of your favorite rider today. Maybe not, but I only think it's fair to warn you.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - At least that's not outdated.]

You folks sure don't like responding to polls, do you? You expect me to whip out a review every 30 minutes, but you can't even take 2 minutes to answer my silly little polls. Maybe I SHOULD take 8 years to finish the reviews just out of spite. Believe me, I have the patience to carry out such a plan. But alas, I'll move forward.

In the last poll the reader was asked to decide what best described Johnny Betts. Here were the choices:

A) Johnny Betts is a "rude abnoxious" jerk who should be "punced" in the face.
B) Johnny Betts is "an amazingly talented writer."
C) Fair-dinkum, that Johnny Betts is a bonza bloke!
D) Other (please specify exactly what you think I am)

The results are in, although they're not definitive. Nobody outright chose "A", although "the answer has to lie somewhere between A and B" was a choice. Gail Grundman feels I'm a "fun cross between B and C".

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - Gail Grundman?? I haven't heard from that gal in a LONG time. You still out there??]

"B" and "D" were the two most popular choices. Here are my three favorite "D" responses:

1) Lisa: I think you are the funniest guy I've ever read in a long time. Your reviews never fail to bring a smile to my face (although you do take great pleasure in degrading Buck, but then again he gets off pretty easy compared to Kid. LOL). I must say JB you are probably one of the freshest voices to hit the fandom in a very long time and I for one am glad you're here.

Lisa is a very bright person; I think you would all be wise to listen to what she says.

2) Rhiannon: Johnny Betts is an amazingly talented bonza bloke, whom the rude obnoxious jerks of the world should pounce upon the opportunity to emulate.

Rhiannon is a very bright person; I think you would all be wise to listen to what she says.

3) Jess: Let the eulogy of Johnny Betts read: "He was a cool dude, but his better angels were shouted down by this odd compulsion he had to name other people, besides the Sensational Jess, his number one fan."

Jess is a very bright person; I think you would all be wise to listen to what she says.

In the other "poll" I asked you, the lazy reader, to take 20 seconds out of your day to let me know what you thought Jed's last words to Kid should've been. Here are the responses:

Waitstill Baxter: "Ty! ... This is the end *choking* of YOUR CAREER!!!"

Raye: Kid: "Jed ... I knew you'd never have shot me." Jed: "Well, there's a sucker born every minute and you're a prime example."

Jeanette: "Hickok's trying to steal the show from you ... don't ... let him."

Jess: "Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy wasn't really fuzzy, was he?"

That's it, all of FOUR responses. Good job, guys (or I should say gals), reeeeeal good job. No polls or trivia questions for you in this review. Sorry, you brought it upon yourself.

I also tried to stir up some interest in a Johnny Betts interview. However, Jess and Rhiannon were the only ones who actually seemed interested in this idea. Oh well, I tried. If your conscience gets the better of you then send in your questions, it's never too late.

I'm not in the mood for any long, drawn-out Rider Review awards this week so I'm just gonna run through them quickly.

Rider Review Mark of the Week: JESS! She answered all my "poll" questions AND she submitted questions for the Johnny Betts interview. She did everything required of her.

Rider Review Mark of the Week Runner Up: Rhiannon. Very good job by Rhiannon. She was one of only two people to show interest in the Johnny Betts interview.

Rider Review Feedbacker of the Week: Once again, it's Jeanette Rider. I'd also like to give props to Jeanette's little league Oceanside team who should've been Little League World Series bound. The team that beat them was a N.Y. Bronx team that had a pitcher who was about 27 years old. The age limit is 12. It's just not right.

Best International Stalker: The Dutch lass herself, Suzanne.

Best International Consultant: Marie-Pierre from France. If you haven't seen it, she's got a good interview with Ty on her Web site.

Best Sweetwater map: Lori. Check it out.

Before I continue with the review, let me share the following from an article that I saw shortly after the September 11 terrorist attacks:


To the 29-year-old stripper, Marwan Al-Shehhi simply looked "cheap."

"Some big-man terrorist, huh?" Samantha said this week as she took a breather from the two-dozen lap dances she bestows daily upon the lonely at the Olympic Garden Topless Cabaret. "He spent about $20 for a quick dance and didn't tip more."

She stopped and bit her lip, throbbing rock music rattling the dimly lit crystal ball overhead while other "girls" in G-strings gyrated for grinning tourists.

"I'm glad he's dead with the rest of them, and I don't like feeling something like that," Samantha finally said. "But he wasn't just a bad tipper -- he killed people."


Yes folks, one of the terrorists was not just a bad tipper, he also killed people! Truly a quote for the ages.

All right, enough of that, it's time to find out exactly why it's a Good Day to Die.

What is Kid doing??? Kid sees smoke and discovers that one of the Pony Express waystations has been burned. Matt O'Connell is still alive. He says "snake man" a few times before dying. After initially telling Matt to save his strength and not talk, Kid repeatedly asks if he's trying to say "snake man." Yes Kid, I think that was pretty obvious. And, I think Kid's constant badgering had a little something to do with facilitating Matt's death. Poor guy.

Kid sees an Indian who turns out to be alive. They get in a fight that lasts until the Indian is thrown into the fence. The Indian turns out to be Rob Estes who looks a little like the Rock (from the WWF) did as the Scorpion King. How many people out there know that Ty Miller was the best man in Rob Estes' wedding? That's actually true.

Back at some saloon Cody is talking about Jimmy flying around like some guy named Leotard. Some mountain man guy comes in and announces that there's a "Sioux war party out near Broken Fart."

Broken Fart? What on earth is this guy talking about?

Cody: He say Broken Fort?
Jimmy: No, I believe he said Broken Fart.
Cody: What's that even mean?
Jimmy: Who knows? He's old, just like Teaspoon, and do you have any idea what Teaspoon is talking about most the time?
Cody: Good point.

Rob Estes is doing some chanting and quickly gets on Kid's nerves. Kid wants to know what in the world he's doing, and Curly says he's preparing to die. He and Kid have a bit of an ol' chinwag wherein Curly explains he was at the way station because he saw the smoke whilst hunting Buffalo.

Kid: Who's Snake Man?
Curly: I don't know.
Kid: He's an Indian ain't he?
Curly: You know all white men by name? (ha!)

Kid then gets huffy and says something like, "All I know is all your kind look pretty much the same." My goodness! I know Kid's from Virginia, but was that really necessary? He then tells Curly, "You got a smart mouth." If Kid tells Curly, "You got a purty mouth" then I promise I'm stopping this review RIGHT NOW!

Kid wants to know how Curly learned to speak English so well. I'd like to know that too. He sure worked hard on making sure he really had no accent. Curly says, "My mother taught me many tongues, forked is only one of them." Turns out Curly's mother is white.

The Scorpion King Speaking of white people, Curly seems to think they're the only ones who break treaties and do bad things. White males, we're always taking the blame. Kid will have none of it though, he's gonna take Curly to Sweetwater for a trial.

Speaking of trials, it's now time for the long-awaited BON JOVI SECRET SOCIETY story. Let's go back to 1986. I was but a young lad of 11, and I was in the 6th grade. "Slippery When Wet" was all the rage, and I think I was the only kid left in class who didn't have a copy.

Talking my mom into getting me the tape was not an easy task. She nearly had a heart attack when she saw the "Social Disease" song title. "Oh, Jason Pyron's mother had the same concern at first, but all the song says is 'Love is a social disease.'" Jason Pyron was one of the "good" kids in class. All I had to do was tell my mom that Jason's mom approved and I was set to go.

My mom got me the "Slippery When Wet" tape. Whilst perusing the inside cover I saw where you could become a member of the Bon Jovi Secret Society for only $10. I ran to my mom and asked if I could join. She wasn't thrilled about it, but after much deliberation she relented and said I could, but I'd have to pay for it myself.

What a deal. For $10 I got 4 newsletters and 3 color 8X10s. The most memorable 8X10 is one with Bon Jovi wearing a red codpiece. I'm sure I still have those pictures somewhere, but they're probably packed away in the attic. I also got a cool paper membership card with my name typed on it! How special I felt. I still have that thing lying around; I'll scan it in one day so everybody can be jealous of it.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - I've looked, but I still can't find the membership card!]

The best day was when the first newsletter came. I got home from school and saw it on the table. I took it upstairs and immediately starting reading it as if it were a well-crafted Johnny Betts Rider Review. Then I came to the part where Tito or somebody said he thanked God every day for his success. BINGO! Bon Jovi was just a big ol' Christian band! I'd show my mom this snippet and she'd praise me for listening to such uplifting music from such admirable role models. I just knew she'd be so impressed that she'd probably offer to renew my subscription for me when it ran out.

If it were only so easy. I showed my mom that quote, but then she proceeded to show me about 20 different cuss words that my dad found when he was looking through it before I got home from school. Seems I hadn't gotten to those parts yet. My mom then started going on and on about how she can't believe I paid $10 to read that trash and how she regrets letting me join the club and how this was the biggest mistake of all time. I simply hung my head and slowly walked out of the room as her complaints faded further and further into the background.

I think that if she had seen the codpiece picture she would've been singing a different tune.

We see Kid riding on his horse and Curly has his hands tied and is forced to run behind the horse. Curly ain't too keen on that and claims he'd treat Kid better if he were HIS prisoner. Kid makes a good point by saying he'd be a scalp on Curly's belt if that were the case. Curly admits that would be a place of honor and respect. The University of Memphis trophy case would be a place of honor and respect for the NCAA Championship, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THAT WON'T HAPPEN ANY STINKIN' TIME SOON! We lost to OLE MISS! This is so bogus.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - The college basketball season is long over, but the University of Memphis trophy case is indeed a little fuller now - WE WON THE NIT CHAMPIONSHIP! WE'RE #65! Whoop-tee-doo.]

Back at the homestead we see the riders discussing the current happenings. As usual, Jimmy wants to see some action. Emma wants everybody to sit tight, but we know that won't happen.

Kid does a horrible job of trying to pronounce Curly's real name, so Kid is instructed to just call him Curly.

The fun is broken up when an Indian war party shows up and is tipped off to the presence of Kid and Curly when a snake frightens Katy. Curly calls the hunting party cowards. A gunfight ensues and Curly declares "It's a good day to die." Kid is upset that he had no say in the matter. I know how Kid feels. Apparently the Memphis Tigers felt today was a good day to DIE ON THE BASKETBALL COURT!!! But did I or any of the other fans have a say in the matter? NO! Nope, we're just left to wallow in our misery like always. WHY TIGERS? WHY?!?!?!?!

Curly wants a gun. Kid asks Curly to "swear to God" to give it back. Curly asks whose God and Kid says his (Kid's). Hmm, wonder what the fallout from that could be? Didn't Kid think Curly was up to something by asking him that question? Was it really necessary to make Kid seem completely clueless throughout the entire episode?

Curly helps Kid fight off the war party but isn't going to give the gun back because he swore to Kid's God, not his own. And thus, we have fallout! Doesn't matter though because they're quickly captured.

What's Wrong With People and Their Trash?

Making Out With Fringe Cody, Lou, and Jimmy ride out to the burned way station to see what's going on. Cody sees Matt O'Connell's lifeless body, while Lou sees some of the fringe from Kid's jacket and immediately begins to make out with it. What's up with that? Goodness. Then, as if Kid can hear her, Lou asks, "Kid, what kind of trouble you in?" All of a sudden we see Kid's head floating above Lou saying, "Big trouble, Lou, big trouble. And why are you French-kissing the fringe from my jacket?"

Kid and Curly are lying on the ground. Curly decides that tomorrow is a better day to die. Some woman throws mud or dung on Kid's face. Curly's ex-fiancée shows up. Johnny Betts speaks in short sentences. Me smoke 'em peace pipe. The Indians run up to a white man on a horse. We don't see his face, but we do see a close-up of him holding a cigar. We then see some stock footage of birds flying around in the air while Curly smells something. Hmmm, foreshadowing? I'm guessing Curly smells the smoke from the cigar. This will most likely come into play later in the show. If it doesn't then I'll kick major butt over the lack of continuity!

Back at the homestead (yes, I've used "homestead" twice, but it's 2:00 a.m. and I plan on finishing this tonight so CUT ME SOME SLACK!) Teaspoon and the riders are discussing recent events. Lou's off by herself sulking.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - Whoa, I was writing at 2:00 AM, had almost half of the review to go, and still planned on finishing that night? What kind of a LOSER was I???]

Buck goes to comfort her. Being the Indian that he is, he tells Lou he "knows" Kid is fine. Of course he does, all Indians have a sixth sense about stuff like that apparently. Lou doesn't seem so sure because after all, Buck didn't see what happened to the Shaughnessys. She refers to the Sioux as savages. Buck acts ridiculous and asks her, "Because they're murderers, or because they're Indians?" SIGH. Um, BECAUSE THEY'RE MURDERERS!!!!!! Would a Buck fan please, please tell me what Lou said to imply they were savages because they were Indians? I'm sorry, but it gets on my nerves when Buck gets too sensitive and just pulls stuff like that out of thin air. He walks off. Bunch of babies.

It's now nighttime. Curly's girl helps Curly and Kid escape. Curly kills one of the guards keeping watch. WHOA! THEY REALLY ARE SAVAGES! Kid isn't too happy about this, but Curly explains a warrior never leaves his enemy alive. An INDIAN warrior nonetheless.

Kid and Curly get a couple of horses, but Curly's girl ain't coming, she's quite happy where she is. She does inform Curly that the Shoshone is planning an attack on Ft. Laramie when the "moon is dark." When exactly is the moon dark? Must be when THE TIGERS SUFFER YET ANOTHER HEARTBREAKING DEFEAT IN THE FINAL SECONDS AND SHOW THEIR FANS THAT THEY TRULY ARE OVERRATED! Yes, that must be when it is.

Curly goes to part ways but Kid shoots at him and says he still has to take him in. How's that for gratitude? Sure, Kid's got principles and all, but Curly did help save his life. They get in town and the townsfolk begin taunting Curly, calling him a "girl underneath all that pretty, curly hair." Cody stops one kid from throwing a rock.

Sam comes out when someone yells, "Whatcha waitin' fer? Indian lover!" We then see Kid get NAILED in the head with an egg. It was very, very hilarious. In fact, I'm going to nominate it for classic scene of the episode. We'll call it, "The scene where Kid gets nailed in the head with an egg." There's just something about people getting blindsided by food that cracks me up.

Sam threatens to imprison the next person who throws something. They put Curly in jail, and he refuses to talk. I imagine he's not too happy, especially with the trapper (formerly referred to by me as "the mountain man") telling everybody they're going to make sure the Indian hangs.

Kid finally makes it back home, as Cody puts it, "scalp and all." Lou seems happy to see Kid, now she doesn't have to make out with his fringe anymore. Kid tells everybody what's going on.

The Cigar Indian Agent Walker shows up at the jail to see Curly. He acts like he's going to do what he can to help Curly. However, ominous music starts to play as he lights a cigar. This can only mean that Indian Agent Walker was indeed the white man with the cigar back at the Indian camp! Curly doesn't look too happy -- he knows the jig is up.

What's Wrong With Bookstore Employees?

All right, all right, wipe the tear from your eye and get back to the review now!

Buck comes in and Ike takes off on a run. Buck saw no trouble. Kid is eating and asks for more bacon.

Jimmy: "Why don't you just give him the whole pig?"

Buck tells Kid he can tell what tribe attacked the way station if he checks out the site. Buck and Kid take off to look at the burned way station, while Jimmy and Lou head out to talk to Curly. Jimmy wants to see the "light-haired" Indian for himself.

Everybody in town is putting down Curly. This prompts Jimmy to say the thing that he loves about Sweetwater is that everybody's so sweet. Curly reveals he is Hunkpapa. Lou tries to explain that Kid is going to try to help Curly, but the C-man tells Lou that Kid should've looked in his heart.

Back at the burned way station, Buck identifies an arrow as Hunkpapa. He also declares there were six riders. When Kid asks what tribe did it, Buck responds with, "Yours." Whoa, do you know what this means? THE EWOKS DID IT! Oh, wait a minute, Buck actually meant that it was the white folk. See? I told you that we're always getting blamed for everything!! If we're going to get blamed for anything it should be bad dancing. I was at Stephanie's office Christmas party the other day and whew, boy, I've never seen so many white people attempting to dance but absolutely having no clue.

Buck can tell it's white folks because Indian ponies aren't shod. These tracks indicate that someone tried to cover the horseshoes with hide. For some reason Kid actually asks why. DUUUUUH! I'm telling you, the writers are treating Kid as if he had a lobotomy in this episode. Buck and Kid decide to go tell Sam what they found.

We see the trapper giving a long speech about wanting to hang Curly, and then he wins at arm wrestling TWICE. I'm pretty sure that was an editing goof. He's just winning the arm wrestling match when they all of a sudden cut to Lou and Jimmy. A few seconds later we see the trapper winning the arm wrestling match again. I defy anyone to prove that it's not an editing error. Lou sees a snake tattoo on his arm and quickly tells Jimmy. They follow Trapper John, M.D. to his hideout.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - For the record, no one ever proved it was not an editing error.]

Indian Agent Walker catches Jimmy and Lou spying and ties them up. When Jimmy won't speak he hits Jimmy in the face with a ladle. Jimmy takes it like a man though. Jimmy says they got lost. He then says he wanted to buy his mother a fur for her birthday. Lou inexplicably blurts out that Gallagher (the trapper) killed the Shaughnessys. What good did she think that would do her? Did she expect Walker's mouth to drop open as he stared in disbelief at Gallagher? Did she think he would start apologizing while letting her and Jimmy go? I don't get it.

Walker asks who knows they're there. Lou then mentions Cody and Teaspoon by name and says they're on their way, along with Marshall Cain. Would Walker really know "Cody" and "Teaspoon"? "Whoa, CODY is on his way? That's it, I'm outta here!"

Walker explains that Indians don't appreciate the real value of things, so he wants to take their land. This is why he's doing all of this. He wants to lure the Sioux into breaking their treaty. Outside, Walker tells Gallagher to make sure the Indian hangs.

Curly won't eat the stew that Sam offers him. Don't blame him, at least offer him some steak or buffalo or something. Kid shows up to rescue Curly. Sam goes outside and Gallagher pulls a gun on him demanding that he hand over the Indian. Apparently he plans to hang Curly tonight.

What's Wrong With Zen Garden Purchasers?

It's now Sunday, December 9, 12:15 a.m. I saw "Behind Enemy Lines" today. It's a good movie. IMDb claims Travis Fine is in the movie, but I honestly was not able to verify that with 100% certainty. I saw a guy whom I think MAY have been Travis. If it's Travis, then he plays some Bosnian dude and his face looks fat. You only get a couple of 1-second glances at him, so it's hard to tell. He wasn't even listed in the credits. Poor Ike. Anywho, let's hurry up and finish this review.

Gallagher calls Sam an Indian lover. Sam says, "Well, if it's a war you want," then he swings the rifle off his shoulder, cocks it, then continues, "You got it." It was a very cool sequence. Curly tells Kid that Agent Walker is the snake man. Kid apologizes for his lack of trust and they make their escape amidst gunfire.

While Walker is taking inventory on the guns and realizing that they're short, Jimmy and Lou are trying to free themselves. Lou tells Jimmy to work on the ropes and while doing so he pinches or grabs Lou's less-than-ample backside.

Lou: The ropes, Jimmy, the ropes.
Jimmy: Sorry Lou, when it comes to women my hands just got a mind of their own.

Kid's Devious Tactic Did you see the look on Lou's face? Woooo, she liked that! It was a look of pure bliss. I never saw that look on her face after Kid kissed or touched her. Yep, she wants Jimmy.

Lou fakes a cough and asks some bad guy for water. He gets some but pours it in her lap. Lou retaliates with a knee to the groin and then a WWF-style chair over the back. She frees Jimmy and they take off. Walker fruitlessly fires a shot at them. His aim's a little better as he shoots the bad guy who allowed them to escape. Too bad the Tigers' aim wasn't that good last night, then maybe WE WOULD'VE WON THE GAME!

I was listening to sports talk radio after the game, and some less-than-intelligent Tiger fan called to express his disappointment. He mentioned how "flusterating" the game was. There's a new word for your vocabulary -- flusterating. Some people.

Jimmy and Lou tell the rest of the riders what's going on. They're going after Walker. Curly wants to join them, once again stating, "It's a good day to die." In a funny delivery Jimmy smiles and says, "I love this guy's attitude."

The riders raid the hideout. Buck gets all Indian on the bad guys and starts shooting flaming (they were made by Elton John?) arrows. All sorts of smack is being laid down: Ike guides a burning wagon into a powder room causing a big explosion, Curly tackles and kills some guy, Kid shoots Gallagher. You know, just another day in the life of Pony Express riders!

Walker grabs Lou and tells Kid to drop his gun. As he's about to shoot Kid, Curly rides in, jumps off his horse, and tackles Walker. He's gonna kill Walker, but Kid stops him. He swears that by not killing Walker he will stop his plan. Curly asks whose God does he swear to, and Kid says "both."

All is well, and Curly is explaining how he must return to his people and his destiny: "I learned of my destiny at the last moon of the leaf's falling. I had a dream of a man with yellow hair who brings a terrible storm into the sacred circle of the earth. But the Hunkpapa will steal his thunder and defeat him, but he will rise again, and have many sons."

Hmm, a man with yellow hair, could he be talking about Custer? Curly says he doesn't understand the last part of his vision, so he must dream some more. I don't think anybody understood ANY parts of his vision.

I did a little research, and I came across Vicki's Young Riders page, and she has some very interesting information regarding Curly. It turns out the Curly in the YR is actually based on a real person! I never knew that. According to Vicki's research, Curly really did have a vision dream and the writers changed it a bit to reflect the fact that the real-life Curly fought General Custer. Very interesting.

Check out Vicki's page for more information regarding the real Curly. She does episode summaries and has found some very interesting historical facts.

How Kid says he's gonna miss Curly. Thank goodness he didn't try to kiss him or anything. Curly tells Kid to sit. He gives Kid a bracelet and says they're now like brothers. Kid once again unsuccessfully tries to pronounce Curly's real name. Curly says it again, but you can see that Rob Estes was dubbed. CURLY CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE HIS OWN NAME! HE'S A FRAUD! HE'S NO INDIAN! And don't ask me to spell out his real name because I simply don't feel like trying to figure it out. Kid tells Curly to have a good destiny.

As Curly rides off, Buck acts surprised at the fact that Curly's brother is Tatanka Iyotake. Buck reveals that that is none other than Sitting Bull! It turns out that the real Sitting Bull and Curly really were half-brothers.

So what did I think? It's a good enough episode, but it's not one of my favorites, and it's not one you should use to try to make new fans. Agent Walker isn't a very strong villain. He's pretty forgettable.

The post-show awards? This won't take too long because goodness, there aren't too many candidates!

Classic Scene of the Episode: The scene where Kid gets nailed in the head with an egg.

Sam-worthy Quip: It's a tie between Sam Cain with, "Well, if it's a war you want, you got it," and Jimmy Hickok with, "I love this guy's attitude." In both cases, it's all about delivery more than the actual line.

Welp, let me do one more "What's Wrong With People" segment before I sign-off. It's a doozy, so I hope you're ready.

What's Wrong With Celebrity Cookware?

Whew, I'm done! And it's only 2:00 a.m.! Remember, I'll be out of town until December 14, so I'll respond to all e-mail when I get back. This will most likely be the last Rider Review of the year, so I hope everybody has a Merry Christmas and a happy new year. Keep in mind that Christmas gifts = a motivated Johnny Betts.

[UPDATE - September 16, 2002 - That was indeed the last Rider Review of 2001, but unfortunately the Christmas gifts never came. Sigh.]

To end in the immortal words of Samantha, "But he wasn't just a bad tipper -- he killed people."

Now, more than ever, this is my opinion, you could be wrong.

The Sun Sets on The Rider Review
Copyright © 2002 Madlib Productions, All Rights Reserved

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