What's Wrong With Celebrity Cookware?
By Johnny Betts
This edition of WWWP can also be considered a public service from me to you. If you're
planning on getting married any time soon then BE CAREFUL! Believe it or not,
there are people out there who love to take advantage of couples getting married. So let
me tap the vein of my experience and try to help you future brides (and grooms, if there
are actually any guys reading this who care).
My wife and I attended a Bridal Show looking to get our hands on some good deals and some
free stuff. We'd fill out the little cards at each booth hoping we'd win something. Lo
and behold, a couple of days later we got a call from Celebrity Cookware saying that we
were WINNERS! All we had to do was sit through a demonstration about their cookware
and in return we'd get a free crystal ring holder, a free camera, free film for life, and
free lodging for 3 days and 2 nights at some hotel at some to-be-determined location. Oh,
we'd also be getting free food at the demonstration. Sounded pretty good to me.
We sat there for a little more than an hour and listened to the demo woman tell us why we
HAD to buy their cookware. Apparently no marriage was complete without their $2400
cookware. In fact, with THEIR expensive cookware, we'd be the Emeril Lagasse of our
neighborhood. We decided that $2400 was a bit much for a 20-piece set of pots and pans
(even though they were going to throw in a $500 set of 5 kitchen knives for free).
A trip to Wal-Mart afterwards proved that we made a wise decision. We could get everything
Celebrity offered for a couple of hundred bucks. Sure, Celebrity has a lifetime warranty
(with restrictions mind you), but I doubt we'll be replacing our pots and pans 12 times
over the course of our life together.
"What about the free stuff, Johnny? At least you got some cool free stuff out of it,
right?" Not so fast.
The free camera? Oh it was a free camera all right. And not just any free camera, it's
one of those that looks like a disposable one. But they assured us it wasn't. Ah, all the
joy and fun of having a camera that LOOKS like a cheap disposable camera but can
actually be used over and over! Retail value is probably $5 at the max. Now the
CAMERA was free, you just had to send them $5.49 for shipping and handling. And
the free film for life? All you had to do was send them your roll of film, pay for the
shipping and handling, and THEN they'd send you another roll of film. So it ends
up being cheaper to just buy new film, plus you don't have to worry about your pictures
getting lost in the mail.
"But what about the hotel Johnny? Surely that was worth it!" Not so fast.
We haven't redeemed the free hotel coupon yet, but a friend of mine went to the same
thing a couple of years before us. They were supposed to have a free room at "the hotel
closest to Ramada Inn" in Disney World. Turns out they passed about 5 Ramada's (not Inn's)
on the way there. They ended up with a hot pink hotel room with faded green doors in the
not-so-nice area of Orlando. Some resort vacation, huh?
"Well, Johnny, you got a free meal out of the deal. At least there's THAT." Not so
fast.
After being told we'd get free food by attending the demonstration we decided not to eat
supper that night because we were excited about filling our bellies with the dinners we
were expecting from the demo. Well, turns out the demo woman was gonna show us how the
cookware worked by cooking carrots, potatoes, and two pieces of chicken. I thought,
"Hmm, that'll be enough for us, but what about the 10 other couples? What will they eat?"
Turns out that my wife and I had to SHARE 4 bites of chicken, two bites of
potatoes, and 4 bites of carrots. Oh, and we got a dixie cup full of water.
"Well, you did get a crystal ring holder, right?"
That's true. WE WIN! The Betts -- 1, Celebrity Cookware -- 0 Oh, and to get this
"great deal" they were offering you had to make your decision right then. No time to think
about it or do any comparison-shopping. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE????
I'll tell you what's wrong with them. These people know that soon-to-be-married couples are
some of the most vulnerable around so they lure them in with offers of "freebies" and then try
sell them overly priced cookware. A few couples took the bait. I saw a couple of girls
happily signing papers while their fiancés sat there with forlorn looks on their faces
mumbling, "I just want her to be happy." Don't fall for the trap ladies, you have been
warned.
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