Volume 1, Issue 1
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What's wrong with this world?

What's Wrong With Drivers?

Fast Food Workers

People at Airports

Elevator Impatience

What's Wrong With Parents?

Truck Beds Aren't for Trash

Zen Gardens?

Checkout Lines

10 Items or Less

Bookstore Employees

Celebrity Cookware

Get a Job

Garage Sale Deals

What's Wrong With People at Airports?
By Johnny Betts

I'm at the airport a while back waiting for my wife. I'm watching the other people get off the plane and enter the terminal when I see a guy stop at one of those podium-looking things that the flight attendants stand at to take your ticket. There's an apple resting on it. The guy picks up the apple, gives it a once-over, and then puts it in his bag. What in the world was that all about? Who on earth picks up a stray apple at the airport and saves it for later consumption? That just makes no sense to me. "Oh Johnny, it's just an apple, what's the big deal?" you may be thinking. What's the big deal?

Well, what if that apple was placed there as a gift to someone else coming off the plane? Some young girl may have been flying home for her dad's funeral. Perhaps her dad had been an apple harvester all his life, and a friend or family member may have placed that apple there for her to see when she got off the plane knowing that it'd cheer her up. But now the chick may have committed suicide thanks to dude wantonly throwing the apple in his bag with his devil-may-care attitude. Seeing the apple there may have been the one thing that would have provided the girl with the comfort she needed.

I can see the guy sinisterly rubbing his hands together and saying, "You like apples? Well I just stole your father-representin' apple, how do ya like THEM apples?" Unbelievable. I bet you're no longer asking me what the big deal is, are you? Someone could be dead right now thanks to that jerk. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE???

I'm sure many of you think the exact same thing when you read the Doorless Stall. Ah well, I can't win 'em all.
Copyright 2002 Madlib Productions, All Rights Reserved

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