Volume 1, Issue 1
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What's wrong with this world?

What's Wrong With Drivers?

Fast Food Workers

People at Airports

Elevator Impatience

What's Wrong With Parents?

Truck Beds Aren't for Trash

Zen Gardens?

Checkout Lines

10 Items or Less

Bookstore Employees

Celebrity Cookware

Get a Job

Garage Sale Deals

What's Wrong With Parents?
By Johnny Betts

This is a special installment of WWWP called "What's Wrong With Parents?" When I was in elementary school my mom would buy me the cheapest clothes she could find. Every other day I'd wear my ONE pair of Levi's that I was able to convince my grandmother to get me. Oh, my grandmother would get me anything I wanted, but I couldn't ask for much or my mom would get mad at me. "You need to stop asking your grandmother to get you that expensive clothing! You've got a drawer full of perfectly good clothes that I got you." Depends on what you're definition of "perfectly good clothes" is. If by good you mean not-yet-worn, then you have a point.

So I had one pair of Levi's that I wore as often as I could to avoid wearing the Rustler's that my mom bought me. And not just the regular Rustler's, oh no, she always bought me the Rustler's with the extra orange trim. My teachers would have to sit me away from the window so that the sun wouldn't hit the trim and reflect into their eyes. It was just downright embarrassing.

I remember at a PTA meeting once my teacher said something about how I "was just beaming the other day". My mother asked, "Oh, did he make an 'A' on his science project?" The teacher replied, "No, he was literally beaming. It was the extra orange trim on those Rustler's he has to wear. Poor kid." Did this affect my mother's attitude toward my clothes? Not even a dent.

Then one day my mom overstepped the line. She bought me a pair of Athletixx tennis shoes. Yep, that's spelled correctly. That's not one "x" you see; it is indeed TWO. This was the cheapest pair of tennis shoes I've ever seen in my entire life. They looked white at first, but then I realized that it must've been white paint because after a couple of days of wear the white started to flake off! What's up with THAT? Do you know how much I did NOT want to wear those things to school? Alas, I didn't have much choice.

So there I was, little 5th grade Johnny Betts wearing his Athletixx with the white stuff flaking off when a 6th grader walked past me, saw my shoes and said, "Nice shoes, dude." Hurt my feelings. When I got home I immediately hopped on my bike and proceeded to use the tops of my shoes as brakes in an effort to justify going up to my mom and saying, "Hey mom, I already need new shoes!"

My mom never learned. She'd buy me an $8 pair of shoes that would be messed up in a few weeks and then would have to turn around and buy me another pair of $8 shoes. All she had to do was buy me a $30 pair of Nikes and they'd last me about 4 years. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PARENTS????

I give my parents credit for the efforts they've made, and I can certainly understand the desire to save money, but parents aren't perfect. Sometimes their decision-making can make children wonder what exactly is wrong with them.

Mother Betts: Vice Versa.

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