What's Wrong With Drivers?
By Johnny Betts
Can anybody out there give me any sort of clue as to what's wrong with drivers?
I'm getting sick and tired of the morons that I have to share the road with. I'm sure
I'll have much more to talk about later, but there are three topics I'd like to expand
on for now:
- The Yield Sign. Does anybody know what this means? If
you don't then please read carefully. I'll type slowly so that you can follow along.
If ... you ... see ... a ... yield ... sign ... then ... you ... must ... wait ... for
... oncoming ... traffic ... to ... pass ... before ... you ... go. If you're turning
or going straight, then you have to wait until traffic is clear. Seems pretty
straightforward, right?
Unfortunately some people can't grasp the concept. They seem to think, "Hey, that's a
yield sign and not a stop sign, so I guess I can go!" There's a section on the
interstate in Memphis where some traffic exits and yet other traffic enters the
interstate. The cars that are entering the interstate are supposed to yield to those
of us who are exiting, but that's rarely the case. The other day I went to exit and
one person who seemed to be allergic to yielding started shaking his fist at me and
mouthing something. What was I supposed to do? Slam on my brakes so he could hurry up
and get over? Sorry buddy, but learn to follow the rules. Or if you want to get out
of your car and mouth off to me face-to-face then I welcome that with all the eagerness
of Rosie O'Donnell at McDonald's during "99 Cent Triple Cheeseburger Week."
- Driving in the Rain. Why, oh why, does everybody act
like a national tragedy has just struck when it starts to rain while they're driving?
The other day it had been raining for about TWO MINUTES when I started home from work.
All of a sudden nobody knew how to drive anymore. Whenever it rains, half the drivers
immediately slam on their brakes, while the other half speeds up. Nobody knows what to
do. It took me AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES TO GET HOME! It usually takes about 30 minutes.
Look people, slow down a little bit and just watch everybody a little bit closer. It's
not that hard of a concept to grasp.
- People in a Hurry to go Nowhere. This is probably the
most entertaining group of drivers to watch. You know the scenario. You're on a regular
street. The speed limit is about 40 mph. Most everybody's going about 45. But all of a
sudden here comes somebody tooling along at about 60 mph acting like he's late to see
the premiere of Josh Brolin's new movie. He'll ride up on your bumper, swerve to the
left lane and ride the bumper of the car in front of him, then he'll swerve back into the
right lane and get stopped at the red light right in front of you. Good job buddy, you
just got nowhere fast. I always chuckle heartily when I have the chance to witness such
a spectacle.
Then there's the driver like the guy I witnessed the other day. We were in
bumper-to-bumper traffic, but whenever a couple of feet of space would open up, he'd
hurry and speed up and then have to immediately slam on his brakes so as not to hit
the car in front of him. Seriously, he'd go two feet as fast as he could and then slam
on his brakes and end up about 6 inches away from the car in front of him. What's the
point of that? Or an even better question is, WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE????
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