The Rider Review - Lady For a Night
By Johnny Betts
July 1, 2002
PROLOGUE
What up? Johnny here. Check it out; I'm now using titles to better organize various sections of
the review. I figure that it'll make it easier for you to find stuff when you're referencing the
Rider Review in a school paper or something. It MIGHT make things clearer for some of you readers,
but chances are that if I hadn't said anything then most of you probably wouldn't have even noticed
the titles. Ah well.
You might notice that this review doesn't follow a straight chronological timeline. That's because I wrote
my review first and THEN I went back and wrote the prologue and everything else. It should make
things interesting though. After you're finished reading all the opening notes it'll be like you're
stepping back in time when you get to the review. Actually, it won't be like that at all. In fact,
I could've made up whatever dates I wanted to and I doubt anybody would think anything peculiar was
going on.
Before I go any further I'd like to go ahead and hand out the first reader award of the review:
Most Recent Guestbook Signer: Brian Lacefield. That's right, Brian's the most
recent person to sign the Doorless Stall guestbook. And he's a GUY. One of the few males that actually
reads the reviews. I like his description of the review: "Enjoy the blend of humor, pop culture and the
Young Riders." Try as I might, I can't disagree with him there. So who'll step up to the plate and be
the next to sign the
guestbook??
Don't you want a chance at being mentioned in the next review???
You'll be the envy of all your friends.
July 2, 2002
READER OBSERVATIONS
Allow me to introduce you to a new section in the review. Now, my reviews are indeed a public service, and
their main purpose is to entertain you while educating you at the same time, but sometimes there's a plot
hole so baffling that I just have to see if ANYBODY has an explanation. Some of you try to send me answers
to those very difficult questions while others just want to tell me how great the review is. This section
will feature a little bit of both. What you're seeing are quotes from the review followed by reader
comments. This should be self-explanatory, but there may be a few readers from Palm Springs, FL.
"Cody orders two sarsaparillas and the total cost comes to $2! Holy cow, that's as much as they'd
cost today."
Aimee: Actually, that is the price of one sarsaparilla at Old
Tucson Studios...
"Where exactly are they storing all this extra dirt?"
Aimee: Oh, maybe that is why we can't see the rest of the wood
floor...they covered it with the dirt from the hole!
Hmmm...
Rhi: Have you ever noticed that when you dig a hole, you can put
the dirt in a pile, stick something in the hole (i.e. a fencepost) then when you fill the dirt back in
and hit it down really hard, it takes up less space? I think *this* is one of life's mysteries.
I have to agree with this statement, I have never understood that phenomenon. Must be a bunch of air
pockets in the dirt.
"Isn't it amazing how the riders always have the BEST hiding places during gunfights while the bad
guys are just dancing around on top of roofs with a bull's-eye painted on their chests? It never
ceases to amaze me."
Aimee: And isn't it amazing how all the bad guys apparently attended
the Cobra school of shooting (GI Joe reference there)? They NEVER hit what they are aiming at, and always
pause just long enough before making a point blank shot to get shot themselves? I'm just so impressed by
that!
This is true. And it happens OVER AND OVER throughout the course of the series. It started in
the very first episode when Scarface refused to shoot at Kid in POINT
BLANK RANGE! Scarface pointed his gun at Kid as Kid rode past him and instead of shooting, Scarface
just stood there and lifted his gun and took off after Kid. So stupid. Oh well, let's look at some
general reader observations that AREN'T stupid.
Karen Myatt wanted everyone to know that Noel Harrison was not Rex Harrison's
brother, "I don't know if this has been cleared up, but Noel Harrison is Rex
Harrison's son.......also starred in The Girl From Uncle in the sixties, with Stephanie (sic) Powers."
Thanks for the clarification, Karen, and thanks for the following comment:
"Don't like to admit that I read your reviews, especially since I like Kid and Lou.
Okay, make fun of me, but be nice about it......"
Now why would I make fun of a Kid fan for being brave enough to stand up and admit to reading my
reviews?? That takes guts! I know there are PLENTY of other Kid fans out there who are SCARED to
email me because then that'll prove that they're eagerly waiting by their computer for the next
review to be published. Come on; don't harbor it deep inside you any longer. It'll do you a world
of good to admit that even though you're a Kid fan, deep inside you're truly a Johnny-holic.
I bet if I posted my phone number in the review I'd have KID fans calling me up PRETENDING to be Jimmy
fans or something asking when the next review would be finished. Don't you gals know you'd sleep a lot
more peacefully if you stopped living a lie??
Ann Salvon wrote, "I liked this review in spite of the fact that
it was a Kid episode, actually it was very good. They (Kid episodes) are better to read in your review
than to watch.
Now y'all listen to Ann, she really knows what she's talking about! She just might be a genius.
Beth F: I guess what I meant to say about the opening is that, if in the very first
seconds of the show I didn't see Ike somewhere (not leaving on a run), I got rather bored. And if I saw
only Kid, I got even MORE bored. So needless to say, I'd have been about as bored as Cody looked. Of course,
if I'd had to be there on the set and sit through as many takes as it probably TOOK Kid to get it right, I
GUARANTEE I woulda been near comatose. As it sits, I think Cody held up pretty well, considering the company.
Hahaha, THAT'S the real reason Cody was bored, they were probably already on the 9th or 10th take of the opening scene.
Cody could only listen to Kid talk about his rock collection for so long. Thank you Beth F for helping to reveal a
little more truth.
Cristy Maudlin had this to say: "is this the emergence of a new
bitter, angry johnny betts??? my goodness you were outspoken in this review! i must say i rather
enjoyed it though, lol."
Cristy obviously has a keen eye for observation. What you read in "Hard Time"
was indeed the emergence of a new attitude. People love having their feelings and emotions stirred up, and
that's what I'm gonna do. This review is gonna be just as hard-hitting as the last. And apparently the last
review did stir up a few emotions! Let's take a look at what some Kid fans had to say.
July 4, 2002
JOHNNY BETTS VS. THE KIDETTES
Welp, I threw the gauntlet down and asked if there was anybody who could step up and challenge what I
had to say about his or her favorite rider. Since "Hard Time" was a Kid episode, he got
the brunt of my punishment. A couple of Kid fans (i.e. the majority of his fan base) decided to take a
shot at knocking me down a peg or two. Here are the results.
Starbright vs. Johnny
"You realize that I'm right and that Jimmy is the man."
Oh Johnny, you're too funny when you're delirious! but dang, my mom taught me to be nice
to the small ones!
Ah, then that obviously explains why you're a Kid fan. What'd he weigh, 120, 130?
"All right, it's 11:49 AM, and I'm at work, but I thought I'd get a little review action in before lunch."
So watching Kid spikes your appetite. Ah JB! What a revelation! - but you still haven't pointed
out how CUTE Kid is!
Actually, I had to do the reviewing BEFORE lunch so that I wouldn't LOSE MY LUNCH while reviewing a Kid
episode. I've found that it's always best to review a Kid episode on an empty stomach. And why would I
refer to Kid as cute? Straight males don't do that sort of thing.
Was this what you wanted JB?
Yes, very good. I was indeed wanting some comments that I could easily defeat, so you provided that. Thank
you Starbright!
Johnny 1 - Kidettes 0
All right, let's see if Mary can even the score!
Mary vs. Johnny
HAVE YOU GONE OFF YOUR ROCKER???? WHERE do you get Kid finally giving in to Cody's whinings as
abandoning his principles?? Principles have nothing to do with it! It sounds to me like Kid has no objections to
visiting a saloon now and again, but like he said, he wasn't in the mood. He was hungry. And if I remember
correctly, it was Cody's idea to go to Prosperity in the first place so they wouldn't have to wait to get to Ft.
Laramie to eat.
A principle is a rule or code of conduct. We all know that Kid was adamant on doing EXACTLY what he was
supposed to do. He didn't like to steer from the course he was supposed to be on. Remember Curly? Kid
knew in his heart that he should let Curly go, but he had to follow his "principles." Kid and Cody weren't
supposed to make a pit stop in Prosperity, and Kid knew it. They were supposed to go to Ft. Laramie, but
Kid caved and agreed to take the side trip. Yes, it was Cody's idea to go to Ft. Laramie but it was Kid
who DID NOT stand up to him and say, "Sorry Cody, but we've gotta get to Ft. Laramie." He caved to the
peer pressure and abandoned his principle of doing his job and nothing more.
You said Buck's comment about Kid punching a guy sounding like something Kid would do, was
totally wrong, it was more like something Jimmy would do...hah! Kid was defending Tulsa's honor (scary, I
admit), which is exactly something he had done before, and would do again.
But Kid wasn't one to resort to violence. He tried to avoid it when he could. When had he ever hit somebody
to defend a woman's honor? What was the precedent? JIMMY is the one who was always ready to get
in a scrap. Remember in "Fall From Grace" when he beat up on the guy that
was assaulting Sparrow? That's why I say it was definitely more like something Jimmy would do because
JIMMY SET THE PRECEDENT. Where had Kid done something like that before? His nature is to avoid trouble.
Which brings me to Jimmy for a moment...when the riders got to Prosperity with Sam, Jimmy
ADMITTED HE WAS SCARED! "You're right, Cody, this place gives me the creeps". Poor baby, at least Kid tried to
do something about the injustices going on.
Actually, Jimmy said the place gave him the chills. That doesn't mean he was scared. There was no admission
of fear. Plenty of stuff gives us the chills. Hearing the National Anthem, hearing a moving story of
bravery, etc. That doesn't indicate fear. All it indicated in this instance was that Jimmy had a bad
feeling about the place. And "at least" Kid was trying to do something about the injustices? Last time
I checked Jimmy was right there shooting it out with the bad guys, so I don't see where Kid did anything
more than Jimmy to fight the injustices going on. If Jimmy had said, "Forget this, I'm heading back to
Sweetwater," then you would have an argument. But the fact that Jimmy stayed and was in the middle of
the fight shows that he was not scared and he WAS doing something about the injustices. Remember, he was
one of the ones who came to save Kid.
And, almost lastly, How in the world did you come up with footie pajama's with horses or something
on them? Have you been saving this up to throw in somewhere? Don't understand how this even fits anywhere.
It fits because IT'S FUNNY! Kid was a goody goody, and everybody knows that footie pajamas are worn by
goody goodies. Plus, Kid loved his horse Katie, so it only makes sense that his footie pajamas would have
horses on them. As far as how I came up with it - well, my mind is very complex. I've got a keen sense of
humor. It's almost second nature to me, you know? I just act on instinct. It was something I was born
with, so I'm not so sure that it's something that can be easily developed. I'm glad I could clear that
up.
In conclusion (if you are still reading, that is--hehe!), you mentioned the guard landing on his side
and how could that lead to a broken neck? Well, the chain was wrapped around the guard's neck. Look closely. One of
my favorite parts of this episode is when the riders and Sam are all walking down the street looking for the
sheriff and Whitcomb, the shooting starts, and everyone but Sam scattered!! You should have mentioned this...
it's a terrific shot! And lastly, doesn't the shot of the sheriff and the other guy on the roof show up in
another episode? Can't think of which one, though.
You're right, that was a cool shot with Sam. Thanks for pointing it out. As far as the shot of the sheriff and
the other guy on the roof goes - I don't know for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is in another episode. As
we'll see, The Young Riders reused a LOT of footage in later episodes. It'll be fun to point these instances out
in future reviews. Oh, and in regard to the the guard and his broken neck - it's possible that he could've
broken his neck, but Little Hawk didn't really get his irons around his neck THAT tightly. I just know
I've seen Ike take worse bumps in pretty much every episode and immediately walk away. But I guess that's
what makes him the hardcore rider.
Thanks once again, Johnny, for an entertaining but totally dead wrong review. I always look forward
to these!
So your definition of "the truth" is "totally dead wrong"? Weird, that's a first. Anyway, you're welcome. And
thank you for your efforts in trying to defend Kid. You did an admirable job, and maybe with a little practice
you'll be able to score a point on me in the future.
Johnny 2 - Kidettes 0
Welp, I've taken a commanding lead over the Kidettes. Everybody is welcome to step up to the Johnny Betts
challenge any time they want. Who'll be next, Lou fans? What do you call yourselves again? Lou-sers?
Bwahahaha! Oh, I'm sorry, it's "Lounatics" I think. Come on, give me your best shot.
JOHNNY BETTS' YOUNG RIDERS DREAM
The other night I had a dream that "The Sacrifice" was being released on DVD. For some reason that was
the only one being released on DVD, but I was told that other episodes might be released later. I have
no idea why that particular episode was chosen. Some of my dreams have come true in the past, could this
be a sign? Only time will tell.
YOUNG RIDERS RUMORS
Rumor has it that Stephen Baldwin was seen driving around in New York recently with the following
vanity license plate:
STR82VDO
I can neither confirm nor deny the validity of this rumor. Also, the rumor that Ty Miller is
working as a bellhop at a hotel has never been substantiated.
TOWN NAMES AND SWEETWATER
Beth F posed this interesting theory:
With regards to Town Names. LOL! YES! I swear the writers had just finished with their tax returns
and one got a refund and the other didn't.
This is quite possible. Or it could explain how big of a contract the writers had signed. They may have been
making more money in the first season so BINGO! PROSPERITY! But by the time the third season rolled around
they were having money problems and everybody knew that moving the show around on the schedule was hurting
them so WHAM! REGRETS! At any rate, Beth F and Rhi had some ideas for other names for Sweetwater and Rock Creek:
Beth F: I could see the Riders living in Dry River, or Desolation, or even (wow)
Tucson, but Sweet Water? Nice name, don't get me wrong, but oh so NOT. How bout "Racist Thompkinsville"? *ba dum
pshhh!*
Rhi: hm... lets think of other names for Sweetwater. if you were around
pre-season 3 you may have had a chance on the writing team, and instead of Rock Creek it could have been "express
city" or "letter forge"or... oh well.. creativity isn't my complete strongsuit. Besides, I would rather read the
review.
wait a second... i was talking about the season 3 town ... so it would be something like "crap creek" or "wathefa
station" or "kid and jimmy city" oh yeah... creativity... not... my ... strongsuit...
And while Aimee didn't offer any name suggestions, she did put forth this thought:
I'm surprised they never showed us a stone filled stream in Season three...
When I finally get around to reviewing Season 3 (what's that, only 4 or 5 years away?) I'll keep a close eye
to see if maybe they DID show us a stone-filled stream. I'm surprised during the first two seasons we never
saw a rider drinking out of a river and then proclaiming, "Ah, now that's some sweet water!" So does anybody
else have suggestions on what to rename Sweetwater or Rock Creek? You know, like Kidsawhinerville or something.
Feel free to share.
YOUNG RIDERS ITEMS I NEED
This is yet another new section to the review. I'm just gonna start posting Young Riders stuff that I
need and hope that SOMEBODY out there will feel like sending it to me. Send me an email and let me
know if you'd be willing to send me any of the following stuff. I'll be most grateful.
- Copies of the First Season ABC Original Episodes. The only first season
episodes I have are from the Family Channel, and those episodes were taped on my cousin's bad VCR and
therefore they all have a little static at the bottom. I'd love CLEAN copies, and I really want the
originals from ABC. There are also a couple of episodes from Season 2 I need better copies of such
as "Ghosts," "Dead Ringer," and "Peacemakers." Oh, and I need the original episode of "Tiger's Tale"
from the third season. There may be a couple of more. A nice DVD collection sure would solve all of
our problems.
- A copy of the Rick Dees show featuring Ike, Buck, and Lou. I've heard
about their appearance but I've never even seen it. Anybody out there wanna send me a copy?
- "The Belles of Bleeker St." Ty Miller and Stephen Baldwin guest-starred as
themselves on this one-episode wonder. I actually saw it when it was first on but would love to see it
again for a good laugh.
- Various other YR cast projects. I've never seen Ty in "Slaughterhouse Rock"
or "U.S. Seals," but if anybody has copies then let me know. Plus, I heard Stephen was on an episode of
Richard Dean Anderson's "Legend." I'd like to see that.
- Any other cool YR memorabilia you may be looking to get rid of.
That's all I can think of at the moment. If anybody can help a brother out then I'd be most appreciative.
June 25, 2002
LADY FOR A NIGHT
I don't even have to watch the episode to give you a review. Judging by the episode title I'm
gonna assume that while Lou's out on a run she buys a dress and goes out on the town dressed as a
girl. The writers will then expect us to believe that guys will be drooling all over a little
Chinese boy-looking girl in a dress. Some sort of conflict will then arise because of Lou's
decision to dress as a girl, which will result in a climax that'll see one or more bad guys dead.
How close will my guess be? *DRAMATIC PAUSE* How close WILL IT BE?!?!
The opening scene is a VERY cool shot of Lou riding into the sunset. Unfortunately, it's all
downhill from this point. Well, we do get a couple of exciting minutes of Lou RIDING! Folks,
I'm already glued to my seat. Here comes Lou AND SHE HANDS OFF A POUCH! What you have just
witnessed is the writers getting the obligatory mention of the Pony Express out of the way in
the first couple of minutes of the episode so that they can move on to all the juicy stuff.
Gotta keep the viewers fooled into thinking that this show is about the Pony Express!
Lou waltzes into the bunkhouse to find two men playing cards in their longjohns and another
dude in the tub. The longjohns-wearing card players tell Lou that the game's hot and then
the dude in the tub claims "so is the water" and he proceeds to stand up naked in front of
Lou. Um, that's just not right. I've never understood guys who could walk around naked in
locker rooms around other guys. Thanks, but I'll wait and take a shower when I get home.
Freaks. Lou made the right decision to leave the bunkhouse. Or was it one of those infamous
Greek bathhouses? Whatever it was I hope that's the last we see of it.
The action now moves to a hotel where we can hear that a woman is getting slapped around.
The owner of the hotel knocks on the door and enters. Standing in front of a mirror is
none other than ROBIN COLCORD FROM CHEERS! Whoa, is that Rebecca that's cowering in the
corner of the room?? And call me crazy, but I think that's none other than TED DANSON on
stilts and sporting a mustache that's playing the hotel owner. Do you know what this means?
THIS IS A RARE CROSSOVER OF THE YOUNG RIDERS AND CHEERS, THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEFORE
BEEN SEEN!
Sam tells Rebecca to leave the room. He then confronts Colcord and informs him that's he's
beaten Rebecca for the last time. YOU GO SAM! Colcord gives him some money but Sam lets him
know that he runs a classy place and his money doesn't interest him. Wooooo! Finally we see
somebody with some backbone whose principles aren't shaken because of a little money! You go
Sam, put Robin Colcord in his place! Colcord then gives Sam a few more coins and says there
will be MORE next time. Sam seems pleased and says he'll be watching for him. Sigh.
Apparently NO hotel owners in the Old West had any backbone. Well, I'm sure he was more than
a "hotel owner." So, Sam was a pimp as well as a bartender, huh? They never revealed that on
Cheers. Nope, you had to find that out on this special Cheers/YR crossover. That shows how
daring the YR writers were. The scene ends to the tune of "Sometimes you wanna go where
everybody knows your name..." But that may only be on my special Rider Review Collector's
Edition (RRCE).
Back to Lou ... she's in town and weeeeeeell, whaddaya know, SHE SEES A DRESS IN A STORE
WINDOW! There's a deleted scene in my special RRCE where Shania Twain's song "Man, I Feel
Like a Woman" starts playing (Stephanie noticed it first). But thankfully, they decided
to abandon the whole "Young Riders Meets Cop Rock" idea and cut this from the final version
of the episode. The most amazing thing about all this is that song hadn't even been recorded
yet. Weird stuff.
Anyway, Lou buys the dress, but not before the store employee refers to her as "young man."
This is the point in the episode where the writers try to trick the viewers into believing
that people would actually think Lou was a guy. She checks into the hotel and the clerk
refers to her as "son" and "sir." All right, the writers are overdoing it now. And you
know what? I'M NOT CONVINCED! I'm sorry, but I just have a hard time believing anybody
would be fooled into thinking Lou was a boy. Come on, her fake deep voice was enough to
blow her cover. I remember when I saw Lou for the first time on the very first episode
my first reaction was, "I'm assuming that girl is posing as a guy in order to get a job
with the Pony Express." I was only 14 and I wasn't fooled.
We see Lou undressing for her bath. Man, is this a porno? They show quite a bit of her
bare legs, which seem amazingly clean considering she just finished a long, harrowing ride.
Hmm, her face, neck, and hair all seem pretty clean too. Where's the dirt and dust???
Lou sits in the bubbles and giggles. You know why? Because she's about to be a ... DUHN
DUHN DUHN ... LADY FOR A NIGHT!
Welp, Lou's walking around in town wearing her dress and whaddaya know, all the guys are
whistling and tipping their hats to her. So far my predictions are dead-on. While she's
egotistically admiring herself in a window, Robin Colcord shows up and tells her it'd look
better if she tilted her hat to the left. Lou then says in a totally cutesy and syrupy
voice, "You do?" Man, the way she says it, I'm telling you, the only thing missing is her
twirling her hair with her finger while saying it.
Colcord introduces himself as Tyler DeWitt. Huh? Must be an alias. DimWitt invites Lou
to dinner, says he finds her most attractive, and Lou acts like a giddy schoolgirl. This
is just totally disgusting though. If Lou is out there reading then please listen up ...
HE'S MORE THAN TWICE YOUR AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111 Who does this guy think he is,
Michael Douglas? Jack Nicholson? Harrison Ford? And we're supposed to believe that Lou
is so gullible that she'd fall head over hills for some dude that's old enough to be her
father just because he paid her a compliment?
Whew, good, it's the scene with Jimmy and his sore tooth. I'm glad they have another
plot line to ease my stomach after sitting through the whole "Lou's gonna make out with
a 50 year old guy" story line. Jimmy's yelling at the riders to get away from him. It's
funny because the riders are surrounding him and approaching him very slowly. Cody and
Kid are the funniest - Cody's got his hands out like he's being very careful, and Kid is
slowly twirling a lasso.
Jimmy swings a shovel at Teaspoon and Cody, warning them to keep away. My special RRCE
has a funny blooper that shows Jimmy accidentally NAILING Teaspoon in the head with the
shovel. It knocked Teaspoon down, and since he's about 100 years old he broke his hip.
Jimmy tries to run away but Ike trips him up. The riders hold Jimmy to the ground while
Teaspoon inspects the tooth. Cody had to hold Jimmy's nose to force his mouth open.
My parents did this to me all the time. "Why Johnny? To make you eat your vegetables?"
No, I don't think that was the reason because they'd always act sad when I'd open my
mouth.
Teaspoon notices that Jimmy's whole jaw is swollen, but no sweat, he knows the perfect
cure - Jimmy has to sit and listen to Kid talk for hours about Katie. As Teaspoon puts
it, "That will deaden ANY man's pain. Granted, it'll bring a pain of its own, but you'll
forget about your tooth." Jimmy opts to wear a smelly pouch containing pig's foot and
cloves. I think that was a good decision because as Jimmy said, "It may smell, but it'll
keep Kid and his horse-lovin' self away from me."
Just great, now I have to sit through a scene with DimWitt and Lou at dinner. DimWitt
tries to impress Lou by telling her he sells insurance. Wooooo. He then explains the
purpose of insurance and Lou replies in that same ANNOYING cutesy voice, "How's it dew
all thyat." And no, those aren't misspellings, that's my attempt at capturing the way
Lou tried to say the words all cutesy-like. Lou's apparently had a lot of champagne.
Can somebody explain to me why DimWitt is stupid enough to tell Lou that he's one of
only a handful of people with access to various gold and ammunition shipping schedules?
I mean, duh, gold and ammunition is being stolen and here he is bragging about how he
has access to shipping schedules. What a moron. Oh, and let me just point out that
the fact that Lou wore her dress and attracted slimeball DimWitt's attention is leading
to a CONFLICT, which I, of course, predicted would happen. So far this is looking to be
one of the most predictable episodes ever.
Lou may be willing to let a 50-year-old man take her to dinner and get her drunk but
hey, she WON'T tell him her last name! YOU GO GIRL! STAND TALL! Lou tells DimWitt
that she's traveling with her mother and then for some reason tells him they have
family in Sweetwater. If she was going to lie about everything else then I think it
would have been best to lie about where they were headed. She should've at least
considered the possibility that he might try to find her if he ever happened to be in
Sweetwater. Lou's not painting herself to be much of an intellectual in this episode.
I guess she WAS perfect for Kid.
This episode gets even more sickening as Lou succumbs to DimWitt's sliminess and agrees
to drink some more champagne. She tried to say no, but DimWitt informed her that he's not
the type of guy who takes no for an answer. Lou would've earned my IMMENSE respect if she
had asked him, "Well, are you the type of guy that takes a size 6 boot straight up your
uptight British bum cheeks?" Alas, she decided to drink the champagne instead. This time
they cross arms like a couple of twinkletoes and drink the champagne. Lou causes me to
nearly lose my lunch (along with half of my left lung) when she
so-cute-it-makes-me-wretch-ingly says "It tickles my nose *giggle*" WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE
SLAP LOU UPSIDE HER CHINESE BOY-LOOKING HEAD!!!!
Outside, Lou says she's gotta go because she and her mom are leaving early in the morning.
DimWitt wants to see her again (why?), but Lou says she can't. DimWitt then grabs Lou
and kisses her. Lou leaves. DimWitt remains standing there and evilly says, "I'll be
seeing you again." I expected him to follow that with maniacal laughter: Muha, muhaha,
MUHAHAHAHAHA! Not wanting to be left high and dry, DimWitt approaches Rebecca (you know,
Rebecca Howe from Cheers, the one he was beating on earlier) and leads her into the hotel.
Lou is RIDING! Will the action never stop??? She sees an overturned wagon and three bad
actors. Bad Actor #1 says somebody took their ammunition. Lou sees that Bad Actor #3 is
hurt, so she asks how bad he is. Bad Actor #2 then badly delivers the following lines,
"Not. Good. I'm. Afraid. To. Move. Him." Good job dude. You had one line and you
couldn't deliver it smoothly. Sad, so sad.
Lou heads back to the bunkhouse and tells Teaspoon that a freight wagon was held up.
Apparently she stopped and told Sam on her way back. For some reason no one seems to
notice that she's carrying a HUGE rolled up package. Surely SOMEBODY would be curious
and say, "Whatcha got there, Lou?" But nope. Lou heads into the bunkhouse and opens
the package RIGHT THERE IN THE OPEN! Man, Teaspoon was right outside. He could've
easily walked in and seen Lou with her dress wrapped around her shoulder. Louise
McCloud ... not a genius.
Lou hurries up and stuffs the dress under her bed, but Kid comes in and catches a
glimpse of it. When he innocently asks what it is Lou gets all WAINCHY and tells
him it's none of his business. I've gotta admit, Kid did nothing wrong in this scene,
but Lou acts like a total skank. Kid tries to be nice and says it looks nice and he
just wants to see it. Lou meanly shows it to him, but when he asks why she bought it
she just says she felt like it. She's a girl, that's reason enough, blah blah blah.
You know, I would say that it must be "that time of the month" for Lou, but I tried
that once and a couple of you gals objected and asked why when a girl is in a bad mood
it's just assumed that it's "that time of the month." I won't make that mistake twi...
aw forget it, IT MUST BE THAT TIME OF THE MONTH!
Kid tries to keep things calm and asks if she bought it in Blue Creek. Lou puts her
head in her hand and sighs. Kid wants to know what's wrong. Who can blame the guy?
Lou comes back from her trip with a dress and starts acting all mean. How is Kid not
supposed to be suspicious? Lou snaps at him and says she doesn't like people poking
in her business. Kid says he's sorry. What a wuss. If Kid was a REAL man then he
would've handled things the Johnny Betts way:
Johnny: Are you all right?
Lou: I'm fine.
Johnny: Could've fooled me.
Lou: I don't like people poking in my business!
Johnny: Is that right? But you don't mind poking in other people's
business, huh?
Lou: What?
Johnny: Oh, you don't remember going behind Jimmy's back and urging
him to get together with Sarah "Horse Face" Downs? You don't remember inviting them to a
picnic and then sitting in the bushes watching them like a pervert? You don't remember making
Jimmy embarrass himself by urging him to introduce himself to Sarah's "father"? I don't guess
you remember any of that, huh?
Lou: Well, I, uh, that's...
Johnny: Yeah, that's what I thought, honey. Tell you what, how about
you quit poking YOUR nose in other people's business, and maybe they'll stay out of yours.
Before she had a chance to say anything I'd then leave the bunkhouse and make sure to slam
the door behind me. That'd shut her trap.
As we prepare to head for commercials we see some riders coming. The camera gets a close-up
of DimWitt and then the image pauses! OOOOH, HOW DRAMATIC! And with that, I'm done reviewing
for today. I'm about to leave work. Just picture me getting up from my desk and then all of
a sudden that image is frozen in time. Pretty cool, huh?
June 26, 2002
I'm back for some more reviewing action! The riders are sitting down for supper and the topic
of discussion is the presidential election. Kid says there are rumors that Lincoln has already
won. Apparently Mississippi and Alabama are threatening to leave the Union if he wins. The sole
purpose of this scene is to hint at the Civil War. I always thought it was cool when they did it,
so I have no problem with it. Jimmy doesn't think war will bother them way out in the West, but
Teaspoon isn't a wise old man for nothing. He steps in and starts talking about how war spreads
like a prairie fire, etc, etc, you know the mantra. But the Pony Express still has work to do
AND TEASPOON'S GONNA MAKE SURE THAT WORK GETS DONE! That's right, a little impending war ain't
gonna stop these riders.
Teaspoon and the riders head to town to do a little shopping. Teaspoon mentions the dentist to
Jimmy, but Jimmy claims the smelly pouch is working fine. In fact, the tooth hardly hurts
anymore! Jimmy slaps his mouth and makes a painful smile, haha. It's time to remind us that
Tompkins is a part-time character, so everybody heads on into his store. Tompkins is looking
at a list Teaspoon gave him and asks about what looks to be "50 pounds of cats." Kid says he
thinks that's supposed to be "oats." Haha, all right, that was funny.
Jimmy supposedly can't read, yet he's looking through stuff trying to find something to help
his tooth. I guess we are to assume that he was just sniffing around for something and didn't
really know what he was buying. Kid and Buck come over to give him a hard time. Kid snatches
the packet Jimmy had picked up and starts to read off what this stuff supposedly cures. He
mentions hives and then asks Jimmy if his hives have been acting up again. Jimmy should've
shoved the packet in a most uncomfortable position and asked Kid how his prostate was doing.
Methinks Kid wouldn't have joked about hives anymore.
Meanwhile, Lou is admiring some girlie hat. Hey Lou, don't make it look too obvious, all
right? Sheesh. Ohhh, and looky here, what a co-inky-dink (that's coincidence for those
of you in Palm Springs), DimWitt just so happens to show up in Tompkins' store while Lou
is in there. Lou continues to DRAW ATTENTION to herself by trying to hide and then knocking
over a bunch of TOTALLY EMPTY cans. Man, could they not afford to have her knock cans over
that actually had something in them? The cans were so light and just floating in the air
when she knocked them over. Kid gets suspicious, and I can't blame him. What exactly does
he see in Lou?
Oh cool, the next scene doesn't have a lot of dialogue. You know what that means, don't
you? It means I put the review in cruise control for a couple of minutes. Basically the
bad guys hold up another wagon. They chase the wagon for a while, kill one guy, shoot the
other, and then ask about some payroll. The wagon driver runs and tells Sam what happened.
Sam, ever the sleuth, postulates that it sounds like the same bunch that robbed the other
freight wagon. Boy, nothing gets by Sam!
I sure wish something exciting would hurry up and happen. I like the storyline with Jimmy
and his bad tooth, but this Lou stuff isn't doing much for me. Welp, unfortunately we've
got more Lou stuff in store for us because Emma calls her into the house. Emma then starts
removing Lou's glasses and hat and saying what nice eyes and a beautiful face she has. Emma
pretty much makes it look like she's coming on to Lou. Emma waits until Lou is all nice and
uncomfortable and then pulls out the dress Lou bought. Emma goes on to say she knew Lou was
a girl right from the start, but she admired her spunk and felt she had the right to do what
she wanted. I'll admit, Emma does a good job of acting motherly to Lou. But I've always
liked Emma. And I'm glad that Emma knew from the beginning that Lou was a girl. If Emma had
said she didn't know until she found the dress then I'm sorry, but all credibility would've
been thrown out the window.
Emma claims she saw Lou's dress "poking out" of the mattress. Either Emma was snooping
around more than she should've been, or Lou further reinforces my theory of how intellectually
challenged she is. Why would you leave a dress poking out of your mattress? Teaspoon could
have seen it just as easily as Emma. Lou is starting to make me tired. Oh well, the big
payoff of this scene is that Emma's not gonna tell the company or Teaspoon about Lou's true
identity. Good job Emma, way to teach these kids how to lie.
The next scene is funny. Emma's pouring everybody tea, and Kid wants to know what's going
on. Jimmy's curious as to if it's some sort of birthday party. Emma explains that it's a
"coming out" party. I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG! KID IS FINALLY GOING TO COME CLEAN
AND REVEAL THAT HE IS A ... oh, Lou starts to come down the stairs in her dress. The
expression on the riders' faces are funny, especially when Jimmy stops smiling. Buck kind
of scares me though when he makes some dirty old man face and puts his hand on Ike's
shoulder. Um, maybe it's really BUCK'S coming out party. Cody jokes about them having a
new bunk mate.
Jimmy: Better watch yourself, Kid.
Cody: Kid? Kid who?
Lou sheepishly smiles. I'm sorry, but I'm not a big fan of how Lou puts her chin on her
fist and tries to look all cute. Lou's lucky I wasn't a rider because here's what I
would've said:
Johnny: What's the big deal? The dress is ugly and Lou's hair is
way too short. She's all yours, Kid.
Next we see DimWitt in town asking the reverend if he knows a girl in Sweetwater by the
name of Louise. Kid overhears everything. Sorry Lou, but the jig is up!
Back at the waystation Lou is shoveling. Kid confronts her and asks her what happened
in Blue Creek; he says he saw DimWitt asking about her. Lou just lies and lies and lies
and acts like she doesn't know what Kid is talking about. See? Do you now see what kind
of an influence Emma's being on these kids??? I guess Lou thinks if it's all right for
everybody to lie about her being a boy then it's all right for her to lie about everything
else. Way to go Emma. Lou then gets all time-of-the-monthy and tells Kid to stay out of
her business, she owes him nothing. I'm really getting tired of all this anger. Why in
the world would Lou be so emotionally taken with a 50-year-old woman-beater?
Lou heads to town and drops off a message for DimWitt at the hotel. She puts on her
dress and meets him that night. She tells DimWitt that she can't see him; she's got
someone else that she intends to marry. DimWitt sees through her pathetic lies and
says she's just scared. He then roughly (and disgustingly) kisses her. Lou walks
away, but DimWitt ominously says, "We'll be seeing each other again." Once again I
was waiting for the maniacal laugh that never came. However, the end of my reviewing
for the day HAS come, so I'll continue tomorrow.
June 27, 2002
I'm back, but just barely. Somehow I managed to survive watching TWO horrible Michael
Pare movies in one night. You can read all about it on the front page
of The Doorless Stall. My brain's still a little stunned after sitting through "Killing Streets"
and "The Dangerous," but I'm a hardcore writer, so I'll move forward.
After we return from commercial we see ol' DimWitt meeting with his henchmen, a rag-tag
group of generic long-haired bad guys who are all mere moments away from their deaths. One
of the bad guys actually has a name - Chiles. He gives DimWitt a couple of bags with
(I assume) money in them. DimWitt's upset because he had explicitly told them not to
kill anybody. He then mentions that they killed "two" men. When did that happen? They
killed the one guy on the wagon, but the other guy lived. I know this because he's the
one that told Sam what happened. Looks like the continuity errors are starting to spill
over from Hard Time. Oh well, whatever. I'm pretty sure the
writers have already phoned in this episode so I'm not even going to try to figure it out.
DimWitt mentions that there's a shipment coming in that contains $25,000 worth of gold. DimWitt
says further killings will only bring the law after them. Yeah, if they steal $25,000 in gold
but don't kill anybody then they'll be fine. Whatever, I think the law's gonna be coming no matter
what.
We've got two scenes interacting almost simultaneously now. One involves Jimmy and the
dentist. One involves Emma and Lou. One entertained me. One made me yawn. Can you guess
which is which? Back in town we see Buck, Ike, and Cody dragging Jimmy to the dentist's
office. Do you see how it took THREE guys to drag Jimmy? If Kid was the one with the
toothache then Jimmy could've just thrown him over his shoulder and walked him into town
himself. The two funniest things about this scene are when Buck says, "You're keeping Ike
awake," and when Jimmy says, "This ain't legal." It isn't legal, hahaha. And I like the fact that
they just imply that only Ike is being kept awake. We don't know why that's the case, but that's
what makes it so funny.
The dentist takes a look at Jimmy's tooth and claims that he can save it, there won't have
to be any pulling. Jimmy's momentarily relieved until he sees the dentist pull out some
sewing machine-looking tool. The dentist claims this won't hurt at all, but when he sticks
the instrument in Jimmy's mouth we hear a loud noise and then Jimmy screams. He pulls his
gun on the dentist and says, "You do that again, I'll give you something else to fill."
Hahaha. That's my first nominee for the "Mark-Out Remark" of the episode. And I'm gonna
go ahead and make "The Dentist Scene" the first "Classic Scene" nominee of the episode. Oh,
and if you're wondering, the dentist passed out faster than Kid caving to peer pressure in
"Hard Time."
Meanwhile, back at Emma's we're being treated to a whole lot less entertainment. Lou goes
blah blah about how no man's ever treated her like DimWitt before. Oh, so no guy has ever
forcefully kissed you despite your attempts at resisting? And no man has ever creepily said
he'd be seeing you again? And no man has ever stalked you and come all the way to Sweetwater
to see you again? And then Lou has the gall to tell Emma that it made her feel like a lady.
Hello? Lou? This is reality. You see, this guy is 50 years old (that's over twice your age),
he's forced himself on you, and he's come to Sweetwater to stalk you, that's usually not how
ladies are treated. She then throws in how there's something "scary" about him. Glad you
finally noticed.
Emma gets on my nerves when she refers to Lou as "Lulabelle." Her name's LOUISE! Sorry, I
just don't find the little pet name very cute. My pet name for her is Lou-ser, bwahahaha.
Man I crack myself up.
Anyway, not much happens in this scene except for Lou not knowing what to do and Emma saying
she has to figure it out on her own. Emma does tell Lou not to feel guilty about Kid because
she didn't make any promises. Hey Emma, shouldn't you be telling Lou to be wary of 50-year-old
men that she's only talked to for a few hours? I think that'd be more appropriate advice.
I'm sure a lot of you chicks gush over the fact that Lou now feels that she can look up to
Emma as a mother-figure, but quite frankly, it doesn't interest me all that much. I'd rather
see Jimmy in a gunfight. If I want to see two women spilling their guts to each other I'll
watch something on the Lifetime channel.
"Why, Johnny Betts, you oughta be ashamed of yourself! Why are you being so sexist?" I'm
not being sexist, I'm being a man. There IS a difference.
Sam meets DimWitt at the hotel. What's uninteresting about this is the hotel clerk gives
them both the evil eye. After Sam and DimWitt leave, the camera stays on the hotel clerk
for a few seconds. It makes you think that there's going to be a huge plot twist later on
involving the hotel clerk. I hate to break it to you, but there is no such plot twist. There
is, however, Sam asking DimWitt if he knows when shipments are due, and DimWitt claims he's
not privy to such information. Anybody out there not see the impending CONFLICT that I
predicted earlier?
So let's see, Sam knows DimWitt's company insured the two shipments that were robbed, and
he comes to ask DimWitt if he knows anything about the robberies, but he doesn't suspect
DimWitt at all? Why would Sam proceed to tell DimWitt about his plan to find out when the
next big shipment was and then surprise the bad guys? Good job Sam, way to give away all
your plans to somebody you don't even know. Looks like Sam left his brain back at the
office.
Sam talks to the riders about shadowing the next big shipment. Ol' Mr. Jenkins at the
bank told Sam about the incoming $25,000 shipment. When Sam mentioned how DimWitt said
he didn't have access to shipment info, Lou's eyes got big and she asked, "He said that?"
Sam asks her if something is wrong and she lies and says no. She then rides off. Sigh.
This is a STUPID move by Lou. And why wouldn't Sam be more suspicious? Why wouldn't he
be more curious about why Lou act shocked that DimWitt said he didn't have access to the
shipping schedules?
Emma asks Buck why he's taking Lou's run, and for some reason Buck is still referring
to Lou as "he" and "him." What's the dealio with that? Teaspoon isn't around and Emma
ALREADY KNOWS THAT LOU IS A GIRL! Hey Mr. Angsty Noodle Arms, you can quit pretending
now! Thanks.
Emma is concerned about Lou running off to town. She goes to the barn to find Kid in
an uncompromising position. Supposedly he's "filing Katie's hooves." Riiiiiiight.
Emma tells Kid that she fears Lou may be in trouble and so I guess this pretty much
means Kid's gonna run to her rescue.
Lou proceeds to defy the laws of common sense and intelligence as she sneaks into
DimWitt's hotel room. She climbed in through an open window. So was it customary
in the Old West to just leave your hotel window WIDE OPEN?!?! Lou starts rifling
through DimWitt's stuff. You know, this is just beyond stupid. Why in the world
would Lou do this by herself? Is she hoping that Sam was wrong and that DimWitt
really hasn't done anything bad? If so, then why chance it? She's already admitted
that there was something scary about him, and now there are strong indications that he
might be behind the robberies but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, she rides into town
not letting anyone know what she's up to, she sneaks into his hotel room, she rifles
through his stuff, and she totally doesn't have anyone keeping guard at the door.
And what's more, she stands there with her back to the door. I'm sorry, but I hope
DimWitt walks in on her.
DimWitt walks in on her. BOOYA! Sorry Lou, but your stupidity brought this on you.
DimWitt draws his gun and soon realizes it's Lou. "He realizes that his gun is Lou???"
What? Ohhh, you know what I mean! Quit being a smart-aleck. A light bulb pops up above Lou's
head and she mentions how he's the one behind the holdups. DimWitt asks Lou if she's
afraid of him. He had to ask her twice. She finally shook her head and then earned
a pimp slap for her troubles. She fell to the ground. DimWitt coldly replies, "As I
told you before, I never take 'no' for an answer."
Really? Well, I managed to procure an interview with Mr. DimWitt, and here's how it
went down.
Johnny: Hello Mr. DimWitt, thank you for joining us today for this
Rider Review interview.
DimWitt: Actually, the name's DeWitt.
Johnny: Whatever. Here's a list of questions I want you to
ask me.
DimWitt: I'm afraid I don't understand.
Johnny: It's really quite simple. You ask me the following questions
and I'll answer them.
DimWitt: But I thought you were going to interview ME.
Johnny: Don't be so egotistical, Mr. DimWitt, we're doing something
a little different today.
DimWitt: It's DeWitt, and all right, if you say so.
Johnny: Good, first question.
DimWitt: Is Tyler DimWitt the most arrogant, creepy, flat-faced loser
in the Old West?
Johnny: No.
DimWitt: Good, question 2...
Johnny: Wait, I thought you didn't take 'no' for an answer.
DimWitt: What? Well ... I ...
Johnny: That's what I thought. So I guess you ARE the most arrogant,
creepy, flat-faced loser in the Old West, BOOYA!
DimWitt: Now look here ...
But before he could get another word out I kicked him in the gut and DDT'd him right on
the ground. Then I started doing push-ups over him and taunting him to his face. It
ruled, you should've been there.
Man, how awesome would it be if you could incorporate wrestling into everyday life? I'd
totally have a theme song, and it'd play every time I got to work and got off the elevator.
The elevator doors would open, my theme music would start playing, and I'd have a crowd of
people standing there cheering and chanting my name. I'd then do a bunch of "cubicle run-ins"
throughout the day. It'd be beyond cool.
June 28, 2002
It's a great day for reviewing, don't you agree? Good, so let's not waste any time and
pick up where we left off right before that rude commercial break.
DimWitt and Lou are riding in some sort of a wagon. Is that what you'd call a buckboard?
Whatever the case, Lou is riding in the back. Lou throws her hat down on the ground
hoping one of the riders will be looking for her and find her hat. Good luck, they're
out in the middle of nowhere heading to who knows where. I'm sure glad they didn't
have Buck show up and "sense" that they should go that route which in turn would lead
them finding Lou's hat and then Lou. I promise I would've stopped the review right at
that point.
But apparently DimWitt HAS EYES IN THE BACK OF HIS HEAD as he stops the buckboard/wagon
and tells Lou to go pick it up. Meanwhile, Kid heads to DimWitt's hotel room and finds
Lou's glasses. Great, looks like it's Kid to the rescue.
DimWitt and Lou arrive at DimWitt's hideout. He slaps Lou and asks if the law is
expecting them to raid the shipment. Lou says she hopes so and gets a punch in the
face for her honesty. The writers are making generous use of one of my favorite
books: “The Young Riders Sure-Fire Method of Making a Really Effective Bad Guy.”
Some of you may remember the following from "The Keepsake":
Tip #17 – Have the bad guy slap a woman – meeeeean.
Welp, they've used that one a couple of times already, but now they're branching out
and using the next tip as well:
Tip #18 – Have the bad guy PUNCH a woman – REALLY meeeeean.
Ol' Chiles wants to forget the whole thing, but everybody else in the gang wants to move
forward with the robbery. For some reason Lou decides to further show her STUPIDITY and
tries to CRAWL AWAY!!!!!! I know there's one or two (maybe three, but that's stretching
it) Lou fans out there, so I DARE one of you to try to explain the logic in Lou trying to
slither away on the ground. First of all, she's just a few feet from DimWitt and his
henchmen, so it's not like they wouldn't notice her trying to get away. Second of all,
DimWitt and his henchmen HAVE GUNS! Third of all, how far did she expect to get by
slithering on her belly? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Come on Lou fans, if she's so great
then how do you justify that illogic? Unbelievable. Oh, DimWitt fired his gun at Lou
and put an end to her nonsense. He then shot Chiles. Oooooh, he killed his own
henchman! He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! From the “The Young Riders Sure-Fire Method of
Making a Really Effective Bad Guy”:
Tip #31 – Have the bad guy shoot one of his own men.
I guess killing a guy makes DimWitt all amorous and stuff because he grabbed Lou and
got all up in her face. He commented on how she wasn't scared of him. I don't know
about that. Lou tells him to just go ahead and kill her. Thankfully, Sam and the riders
show up JUST IN TIME and a big ol' gunfight ensues.
DimWitt hops on his horse and takes off. Lou takes off after him. Kid's running and
a shot hits near his feet. Ever the acrobat, Kid does some little flip and roll thing,
lands on one knee, and fires his gun and kills some bad guy that was standing out in the
open. Nice gymnastics work by Kid, is his hero Mitch Gaylord or something? Man, Gaylord?
What a HORRIBLE name! I'm sorry, but if I had been born (cursed) with a name like that
then you can bet your last "Josh Brolin Wearing a Muscle Shirt circa 1985" 8X10 that I'd
be changing my name faster than bill clinton changing his story to Hitlary (spelled
correctly) about where he was last night.
Kid then treats Katie as if she's a pommel horse and takes off after Lou and DimWitt.
Bwahahaha. I just did a search on the Internet for "Tyler DeWitt," and lo and behold
somebody named "Tyler DeWitt" is the creator for something called the "Hard Booty"
webpage. Folks, I simply can't make stuff like this up. I didn't go to the page, but
the description refers to it as a "class web page." What kind of class is this dude
taking??? I'm sure all you perv ... I'm sorry, Rhi objects to the label "pervert," so
"pervert" will now be replaced with "frequenters of Australian Ann's YR site" ... I'm
sure all you frequenters of Australian Ann's YR site will check out the page, so you can
update us on what the deal is.
So Lou's chasing DimWitt, she flanks him, she jumps on him from her horse, and they both
go tumbling. Lou picks up DimWitt's gun and holds it on him. DimWitt seems to think
Lou likes him too much to shoot him so he just keeps walking toward her (albeit VERY
slowly). BAM! Lou shoots him and says he had it coming. Very anti-climactic. And
looky here. It's Kid, always a day late and a dollar short. He and Lou hug. This doesn't
exactly hit an emotional homerun with me.
Back at the waystation Cody is shining his boots and Ike is busy writing something.
Thankfully, I've got a special DVD player (there's only one made) that allows me to
zoom in on the letter and see what it says:
"Dear Johnny Betts, my name is Ike McSwain and you are my hero. I just wanted you to
know that your Rider Reviews are HILARIOUS and your interpretations of my sign language
are dead-on. I don't know who Buck is interpreting because he obviously has no idea what
I'm saying. Oh well, I just wanted ..."
And the letter ends there. That must be the point where Cody, Ike, and all the audience
heard the door slam and then Jimmy scream. Jimmy comes out with his tooth on a string.
Guess he took care of that, and as Jimmy says, I guess that'll teach that tooth better
than to mess with him. Cody says he's surprised Jimmy didn't shoot it out. Hahaha.
Lou apologizes to Kid and says she should've been honest with him. Yeah, you sure
should've been. It's too bad it took a near-death experience to show you that. Lou
tells Kid that she owes him a lot, but Kid says no she doesn't. I'm checking my
special RRCE and it appears that this scene was originally longer. Here's how it went:
Lou: I owe you a lot.
Kid: You don't owe me nothing.
Lou: Do too!
Kid: Do not!
Lou: Uh-huh!
Kid: Unh-unh!
Lou: Do too times ten!
Kid: Do not times infinity!
Whew, I think we should all be happy the scene was cut. Oh no, man. Kid and Lou start
smooching as the credits roll. I'm sure a lot of you girls get all mushy and teary-eyed
during this scene. Sorry, but when Lou and Kid started kissing I started kissing my lunch
goodbye.
July 8, 2002
EPILOGUE
Wanna know what I think of the episode? It's not the worst episode of all time, but it's not
one of my favorites. I personally wouldn't use it as a YRRT, and I wouldn't recommend showing it
to any guys in hopes of making them fans. It might be a good episode to show your gal friends who
like to see stuff like that. The dentist storyline is good though. If you know a potential convert
who likes comedy then you can just fast forward through the "Lou is Smitten by a 50-Year-Old Man"
stuff and show them the dentist stuff. Other than that, this episode doesn't merit a lot of repeated
viewings. No big surprises in the post-show awards:
Mark-Out Remark: Jimmy Hickok with, "You do that again, I'll give you
something else to fill." It's a funny line and it's very typical of Jimmy.
Classic Scene: "The Dentist Scene." Yes, I know it was several scenes
scattered throughout the episode, but they were all equally good. I guess if I had to pick then
the best part was when they dragged Jimmy to the dentist's office and he pulled his gun on the
dentist. The "Jimmy Goes to the Dentist" storyline TOTALLY saves this episode.
Gayest Moment: Without a doubt it's when Lou comes down the stairs in her
dress and Buck puts his hand on Ike's shoulder. What on EARTH was THAT?!?!
Let's see, now for a few more reader awards.
Comeback Reader Award: Cathy Labanon - I hadn't heard from her in a while
but she came roaring back from her hiatus and responded to three or four reviews in a row. Good
job.
Best Newcomer: It's a tie between Maria Elena Velarde Carreras and Jennifer
Wilson. Maria is from Peru, and I'm not sure where Jennifer is from. But it's cool to know that
the popularity of the Rider Review is continuing to expand all across the WORLD!
It's too hard to pick just one Rider Review Mark this time around because so many of you did such a
good job with feedback and idea suggestions, etc. All the Rider Review Marks have been quoted or
mentioned in the review somewhere. That's your reward, I just made you famous. Feel free to thank
me profusely. Now let's make some more people famous by looking at what YOU think. And of course
I'll be sure and let you know what *I* think about what *you* think.
What YOU Think
Cristy Maudlin:
i can't wait for 'lady of the night'! this is another ep i don't have anymore but i
do remember the jimmy and the dentist scene, that was a classic moment if there ever was one. isn't
this the one where lou gets snowed by some guy and he gets her drunk? i never personally saw what she
liked about the guy but i know some people liked him. but i guess if i had been stuck with kid for
awhile, i might go buck wild too.
Hahaha, that's a good point, Cristy. As I've pointed out throughout the review I have no idea why Lou
was attracted to a 50-year-old stalker, so I'm glad to see there are some women out there who would NOT
have fallen head over heels for the guy. And did everybody notice what scene Cristy singled out as a
classic? That's right the JIMMY AND THE DENTIST SCENE. Johnny Betts - he's got his finger on the pulse
of the Young Riders community.
Barb Wood:
We didn't have the original names for the episodes when they aired the first time so my
cousin and I always renamed them. This one was always referred to as "Lou and the Sleazy Man."
I used to do the same thing when I was labeling my tapes. This one was simply known as "Lou Kills Man."
I later made the following addendum for futher clarification - "Lou and Dude From Cheers." Here are the
alternate titles for the other episodes I've already reviewed:
- 1st Young Riders ever. The beginning. (The Kid)
- Hickok and Longley the gunfighter. (The Gunfighter)
- Buck and the Kiowa tribe. (Home of the Brave)
- Ike testifies against Dickerson. (Speak No Evil)
- Lou looks for her brother and sister. (Bad Blood)
- The riders help Ulysses the slave. (Black Ulysses)
- Hickok is dubbed as "Wild Bill." (Ten-Cent Hero)
- Kid meets his brother. (False Colors)
- The Kid and Curly the Indian. (A Good Day to Die)
- Hickok and Emma. (End of Innocence)
- Hickok is framed. (Blind Love)
- Teaspoon and Amanda O'Connell. (The Keepsake)
- Hickok and Teaspoon's plan. (Fall From Grace)
- The Kid is unfairly imprisoned. (Hard Time)
I'll have more later as I review future episodes. Try to contain your excitement. All right, back to
Barb...
I think she caught Jimmy's illness during this episode. The one where he looked at
the horse faced woman and declared she was the "purdiest woman he ever saw"! It seems to render a
person unable to see homely or unpleasant physical characteristics. Mr. Sleazy ranks right there in
the looks department with horse face herself. Just what in the world would Lou see in this guy.
Personally if a man that sleazy would approach me any where or any time I would have high tailed it
out of there FAST!!! Kid isn't really my type at all but I would take him over a sleazy middle aged
man if I were a teen (I guess she was suppose to be a teen although 20 something was more like it).
There you have it Kid fans. I hope you can take solace in the fact that even women who don't particularly
care for Kid would still take him over a sleazy middle-aged stalker/woman beater. See? Non-Kid fans give
him credit where credit is due! And before all three Lou fans totally rake me over the coals with seething
emails (that have no doubt already been typed) I will agree with Barb and say that perhaps Lou caught
whatever it was that was ailing Jimmy in "Blind Love." If you'll recall, I
DID give Jimmy a thrashing for his poor choices in that episode , so I must also hold Lou accountable.
She has a chance to redeem herself. There are more episodes to review!
I haven't seen this episode in years. In fact I haven't watched any in ages. I don't have
the time to break out those old tapes. But here is my take on if Mr. Sleazy approached me.
Mr. Sleazy: Hello Mam'
Barb: Hi (Avoiding direct eye contact)
Mr. Sleazy: How are you doing today? (Or some other fine conversation starter like beautiful weather
etc.)
Barb: Fine (Turn abruptly and cross street or whatever, wherever Mr. Sleazy isn't!)
I think he would get the message.
I hope the rest of my female readers get the message as well. The review may be for entertainment, but
it's also a public service. I want to help you avoid the same mistakes that Lou made. That's the real
reason I had to give Lou a hard time in this review. So please, if you come across someone like Tyler
DimWitt then try to remember Barb's advice on what to do if approached by a flat-faced loser like that.
Ann Salvon:
I am going to put in my opinion of Lady for the Night. First, it's been awhile so I am
going to watch a little of it first to refresh my memory...okay I remember now, I am going to say the
only thing I really like about it is the scenes with Jimmy with his toothache, I am sympathetic but those
are really funny scenes and make the episode better. The one scene that I like is where the riders drag
him to the dentist/barber.
*ahem* Imagine that, ANOTHER reader who recognizes that the dentist scene is the redeeming factor of
the episode. I always knew Ann from Oregon possessed above-average intelligence.
Did you know that back then the barber did some dental work too? They mainly just pulled
the tooth out if it went bad or they did what Jimmy did at the end. I am glad they have improved the
dental equipment, that drill was a very scary looking thing. And I work in a dental office too! But that is
what they used at first. There is a drill like the one in this episode in a museum downtown.
Very interesting. See what cool tidbits can be shared when the readers contribute to the review? This
is all part of the "education factor" of the review. I admit, I too am glad that they've improved the
dental equipment, but I also must admit that I haven't gone to the dentist in a few years. You see, I'm
not gonna pay over $400 a year in dental insurance just to go to the dentist once or twice a year. I brush
my teeth twice a day and I try to chew Trident during the day to keep my teeth clean. I once went almost 10
years without going to the dentist and when I finally went my teeth were perfectly fine. If my teeth start
to hurt then I'll pay $70 or $80 for a check-up. I've saved myself almost $2000 by not paying for dental
insurance and I'm proud of it.
There is one scene with Lou that is not bad. Emma has found the dress that Lou bought and
Lou gets worried the way Emma is talking then discovers that she knew all along that she was a girl. How
can she not know though. How could anyone not figure out that Lou is a girl? Okay, guess I am done. Hope
it is not too long.
Nope, not too long at all. Ann's right, the scene where Emma let's Lou know that she's aware of her
"secret" isn't that bad. The best part about it is that Lou thinks Emma's is coming on to her or
something. I'm glad to see other fans out there that are completely baffled at the fact that we're
supposed to believe that some people actually thought Lou was a guy.
Sarah:
hey Johnny, "Lady For a Night" was always one of my favorite episodes,
Oh Sarah, I think you meant "Gunfighter" or "Ten-Cent Hero."
I loved the part when Emma called Lou into the house and let her know she knew Lou was
a girl, Lou looked kinda worried for a minute though lol, the part when all the boys were there and Lou
came down the stairs is my favorite scene , the look on their faces was priceless, I could never figure
out why Lou was so trusting of Tyler Dewitt, she only knew him for a day and she fell for him, oh the
part in the store when Jimmy was trying to figure out which medicine to take for his tooth and Kid and
Buck came up and were teasing him was funny, I loved the part when they all ganged up on Jimmy and brought
him to the dentist and he threatened the dentist with his gun , I think one of the best scenes besides
the scene with Lou coming down the stairs was when Cody and Ike were on the porch and they heard Jimmy
yell and he came out with his tooth in his hand, and Cody said I'm surprised he didn't shoot it out,
that scene was so funny, I love the episodes like this one with more than one plot to follow.
I pretty much agree with what Sarah said. The episode was not without its charm
*COUGHmainlybecauseofthedentistsceneHACK*. And I also always liked how the show always had more than
one plot to follow. Unfortunately, I wasn't too enraptured with the Tyler DimWitt plot because it just
wasn't that believable to me that Lou would act like that. Is there anybody out there who wants
(or who is brave enough) to argue an opposing viewpoint?
Aimee:
This is tied with The Sacrifice as my favorite episode of all time.
Sigh. Aimee, Aimee, Aimee. You're one of my most loyal readers, and I appreciate your long-time
loyalty, but aren't you learning anything from me?? Maybe this review will open your eyes to the
truth, but if not, then I'm interested in seeing how you'll try to justify Lou's actions.
I think Roger Rees was a great bad guy (it's the British accent). I love him in West
Wing too!
I'm trying to decide if I felt Roger Rees was an effective bad guy. He was a really good creep. He
made an excellent jerk. But he's not the type of guy that would strike fear in me. I prefer bad guys
like Longley and Gabe Calder that have reputations as being tough guys. DimWitt was a skinny little
punk who ran around hitting on women because he knew if he tried to confront somebody like Jimmy he'd
get punked out faster than a Kid fan trying to put me in my place. See, Calder was man enough to try
to take on Jimmy in a gunfight. He knew Jimmy was fast with the gun, but he wasn't too scared to try
to outdo him. I doubt DimWitt would do very well in a fair fight. So I'd have to say that DimWitt
was too much of a wimp to make my Top Ten Bad Guys list.
Anyway, I am a Lou fan first and foremost, and this episode is a great one for Lou
fans. I like how we see her struggling with trying to live in a man's world, and how she is struggling
with her feelings for Kid. And the scene where all the boys see her in a dress for the first time is
great! Their reactions are so funny, and her reaction to them is even better! Oh, and I really want
that dress!
There you go, Lou fans, a view from the other side. Lou has probably always been my least favorite
character, so I'm glad Aimee was here to show us another viewpoint. She's right, if you're a Lou fan
then you'll probably dig this episode, but if not then you'll most likely find yourself fighting the
urge to fast forward quite a bit. An urge that I'm sure many of you non-Lou fans have given into a
lot.
Katta:
What can I say about it? Lou is prettier in pants, but that may just be me liking
androgyns. External boyfriends/girlfriends are always either evil, sworn to celibacy or about to die.
This show has a "sex is bad" message that beats Buffy's with about a hundred miles.
With about a hundred miles of what? Hahaha, I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
But Jimmy at the dentist's is really a priceless scene. I love seeing him as a wuss
for once.
HEY! Jimmy was not being a wuss! He was just ... wary of the unknown! Yep, that's it. It's a valuable
lesson that we can all learn from. You should always be cautious when you're faced with having to deal
with something you're not familiar with. Jimmy was right to be skeptical. The dentist said filling the
tooth wouldn't hurt but it obviously did. Jimmy taught us that you've got to be careful wherever you go
in life because there's ALWAYS someone willing to lie to your face just to make a quick buck. I for one
would just like to tip my imaginary hat to Jimmy and say thank you, Mr. Hickok, for a lesson well taught.
Beth F:
I remember Roger Rees was the bad guy, wasn't he? He was also in the George C. Scott
version of 'A Christmas Carol' and he was GOOD in that. I really did NOT like him as a bad guy, which
means he was terribly good at it. I wanted to smite him till he was as black and blue as his victims.
That character really didn't deserve mercy of any sort.
I would have to agree with you there. I guess there needs to be a classification of different types of
bad guys. A hygienically challenged wife beater who weighs about 120 pounds is definitely a BAD guy, and
he deserves a good thrashing and should be despised as a coward. But he wouldn't make a good adversary
for Luke Skywalker. You see, that's Darth Vader's role. Now Darth Vader, there's a COOL bad guy. So
you've got your Darth Vaders and you've got your 120-pound hygienically challenged wife beaters. I'd rank
DimWitt with the latter group.
Now Lou wasn't as awful as she could have been. True, I was quite the bored little
cookie,
Bwahahaha, I'm sorry, but that's just funny.
but it could have been much worse. It's been another long time since I've seen the
episode, but I also remember being kinda ticked that they kept showing it and not showing other episodes
that were much better.
And there is the main problem with the episode - there are SO MANY MORE episodes that are just much,
much better. But at least Lou fans can be comforted by the fact that it could have been much worse.
Take it to heart!
Nora:
I love Lou's character, really I do, but I don't blame you for giving her a hard time
in this episode. I just can't believe she'd be that naive about (forgot the name-Roger Rees' character).
After her previous experience with Wicks, I think she would be more careful. Also, isn't this guy a
little too old for her?!? All in all, Lou was really out of character here.
THANK YOU! Nora is obviously somewhat of a Lou fan and she just justified my criticisms, AND she agrees
with my assessment that Lou was out of character. It'll be interesting to see if anybody tries to argue
that Lou was NOT out of character and just totally ruled. And yes, Nora, DimWitt was at least twice
Lou's age. Unbelievable.
ChristyMB:
Less than stellar??? Oh man...if it ain't a Jimmy episode you don't
like it. :P
Now this isn't true. There are plenty of "non-Jimmy" episodes that I like. In fact, there aren't that
many episodes that I don't like in some manner. It just so happens that "Lady For a Night" isn't what
I would consider a "great" episode.
This is one of my favorite episodes. It has a charming villain and this is a real first
glimpse of Lou's femininity. We find out that even though she dressed like a boy, there was still that
longing for her to be a lady. I also loved how she bonded with Emma. It seemed she had lacked a motherly
type figure in her life for quite sometime and Emma filled that void for her.
I don't disagree with you (except for the fact that I found DimWitt more creepy than charming). But
that's not really what I'm looking for in a Western. I'm a HUGE Clint Eastwood fan - I especially love
his early Westerns and the Dirty Harry series, but you won't find me defending "Bridges of Madison
County." But I'm sure plenty of you ladies would prefer it over "Hang 'Em High." I guess that's what
makes the Rider Review so interesting - you ladies now have a male viewpoint to consider. This is
important if you're trying to make your husband/boyfriend a fan. I'll be sure and let you know which
episodes to show them. Don't show them this one.
Cathy Labanon:
Yes I have to admit, this is not one of the better episodes. I think that my favorite
part is when they have tea together to show Lou's coming out party. And of course them trying to get
Jimmy to the dentist. That was hilarious. A couple of my favorite lines were at the coming out party...
"Well looks like we got a new bunkmate" and Jimmy telling Kid, "All's I can say is that you better
watch out Kid" and Cody replies with KID who. Then of course when they try to get Jimmy to the dentist.
Or actually they have him in the chair already and the dentist tells him that they fill the teeth
nowadays not pull them. And when it hurts Jimmy, my man pulls his revolver and says "do that one more
time and you'll have one more hole to fill". Something like that any way. And of course Cody has quite a
few funny lines in this episode. I think that they could have picked out a nicer dress for lou. That
dress did nothing for her. Of course her short hair did not help.
Hahaha, I have to agree with you. If memory serves me correctly, Lou doesn't really start to look very
feminine until late in the 2nd season when she finally started to grow her hair out. See Christy, some
other people apparently agree with my assessment of the episode! If you like more action in your Western
then this one will indeed seem more slow-paced.
Australian Ann:
It's good to see one of The Young Riders' favourite recurring themes - violence against
women - rear its head again so soon. Can't wait to see the next battered woman!
I know, it's been FOUR episodes since the subject was last approached. We'll definitely see the subject
again when Rachel gets beaten on, but I'll be surprised if it doesn't happen again before the end of the
season. Only time and my future reviews will tell.
My favourite scene was when Lou walked down the stairs in the ugly dress and Buck takes
a step towards Ike and puts his hand on Ike's shoulder. I can't work out whether he's thinking "Don't
even think about it Ike." or "I wish we could have a coming out of our own."
HAHAHA! I PROMISE that Ann and I didn't discuss our opinions beforehand. Ann totally read my mind about
Buck. And that's a perfect note to end on. You gals did a good job of sending in your opinions, I tip
my hat to you.
Next up for review is "Unfinished Business." This is the episode where Emma's long-lost husband shows
up in Sweetwater and causes problems with Emma and Sam. It's been a while since I last saw the episode,
but I do recall liking it. That doesn't mean there won't be PLENTY of stuff for me to make fun of though!
In the immortal words of the Zit Remedy, "Everybody wants something they'll never give UP!"
This is Johnny Betts. This is my opinion. You could be wrong.
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