By Johnny Betts
An Even More Ambitious Idea for Fazoli's
My initial email to Fazoli's:
Subject: GREAT idea for Fazoli's
Hello, Johnny Betts here. I'm just writing to let you know that I have
a great marketing idea for Fazoli's. Ever since my "John Deere
incident" (long story), I've had a lot of free time on my hands to sit
around and think up great ideas for businesses. My mom claims I've just
been sitting on my hands and doing nothing, but she's the one who only
does my laundry twice a week so what makes her think she has room to
talk? Anyway, I know you'll love my idea.
The Submarino is simply the best sub sandwich on the market. Why not have Dan
Marino be the official Fazoli's spokesman? Why is he the perfect choice for a
spokesman, you might ask? Excellent question, and thankfully I have the answer.
1) He's not scared to do commercials (Isotoner anyone?).
2) He's Italian and most likely would love a good Italian sub.
3) He's loved by millions of people across the globe.
4) His last name is Marino.
I envision Dan and some of his friends sitting around, playing poker, when his old
wide receiver Mark Duper says, "Man, I sure am hungry." Dan would then say something
like, "I've got just the cure for you Mark, go long!"
Mark would then run some play and Marino would throw a Submarino to him.
Mark would open his mouth and the Submarino would go in. Dan would then
say, "Hey Mark, what do you think of Fazoli's Submarino?" To which Mark
would reply, "Dan, I think it's super duper!" He'd wink at the camera
and maybe you could show his teeth sparkle and make a little "ding"
noise for some added effect.
I don't see too many Fazoli's commercials, and this would be a great
way to be competitive in that market. Subway has the "Jared
commercials", and while they've been somewhat effective, I think
everybody agrees that they've run their course and the time is ripe for
something new to come along.
You might also have somebody like John Offerdahl land a monstrous block
on a Jared look-alike who is trying to prevent Mark Duper from catching
Well, that's my pitch. Let me know what you think. I can always use
more money, so I'll be looking forward to the additional income. Would
I be getting a lump-sum payment for my idea or a portion of the
increased profits? Just let me know. At the very least I'd take a free
sub sandwich or two. Thanks!
Fazoli's Doesn't Respond
Welp, Fazoli's is apparently scared of success because they never responded to
my commercial idea. I'm thinking that my email must've been misplaced, so it's
probably a good time for me to send them my idea again.