Volume 1, Issue 1
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What's wrong with this world?

What's Wrong With Drivers?

Fast Food Workers

People at Airports

Elevator Impatience

What's Wrong With Parents?

Truck Beds Aren't for Trash

Zen Gardens?

Checkout Lines

10 Items or Less

Bookstore Employees

Celebrity Cookware

Get a Job

Garage Sale Deals

People Using Work Bathrooms

What's Wrong With People Who Use Work Bathrooms?
By Johnny Betts

If the men's bathroom at work is an accurate gauge, then it would seem to me that quite a few people out there don't know how to use a toilet. Is this really a hard concept to understand? Are people just not interested in common sense or common decency anymore?

Nothing warms my heart quite like walking into a stall and having trouble finding the toilet because it's hidden under a smattering of urine droplets. Do these people do this at home? I can't imagine going to a friend's house and seeing something similar.

"Hey Shawn, can I use your bathroom?"
"Sure. Down the hall and to the right."
"'Preciate it man."

Now what would you think if you strolled in and saw pee drops all over the toilet seat and saw the captain's log floating precariously in the water? I guarantee it'd seriously alter your opinion of your friend.

Is it really a big hassle to flush the toilet? You do flush the toilet at home, don't you? Well, DON'T YOU?!?! The other day I stepped up to the urinal and it looked like somebody had poured extra foamy beer in there. Made me sick. What's that you say? You don't like touching the flusher? Well, neither do I. So go to the stall AND USE YOUR FOOT AND THEN WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is etiquette a lost art? I'm envious of you ladies. I'm sure the women's bathroom is nowhere near the problem that the men's bathroom is. Forgive me for wanting to use a clean bathroom. You won't find me sitting on a public toilet until I've built at least three feet of toilet paper padding. The bathroom on my work floor is so bad that I usually go to a bathroom on another floor. Hey dude, I know you didn't learn such bad bathroom habits from your mama, so why don't you show her a little respect and WORK ON YOUR AIM AND FLUSH THE STUPID TOILET!

Copyright 2002 Madlib Productions, All Rights Reserved

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